5 Things Id Change About Porn:
1. The Ball Cam. I am sick of fast-forwarding through 75% of my tapes to avoid staring at the hairy ass and shriveled up balls of some nasty guy. Face it. In real life no one is looking at it from that point of view for a reason (unless you are the bored third party in #2). What makes fantasy a lot hotter, in my opinion, is being able to visualize being there. I would replace this libido-killing angle with such angles as the Bouncing Titty Shot, the Voyeur Cam, and the Clit Cam. It seems to me that since most men would rather watch their cock going into pussy than their partner enjoying it, the camera may as well show it from the perspective of the man looking down, not from the perspective of the man doing the human pretzel. A LOT more time could be devoted to watching the amazingly erotic rippling movement down a womans body after each rhythmic thrust as a substitute for seeing some balls squish against her ass. If they cant compromise the Ball Cam they should at least show the whole angle so that we have the option of looking at those gorgeous tits!
2. Fake Threesomes. Nothing irritates me more than fake threesomes, except for #1. A threesome is 3 people having sex with each other, not two people having sex in front of someone who is masturbating. That is called voyeurism. I dont care if it is MMF or MFF, the third person should be doing his/her part to either give or receive. Off the top of my head, I can think of about 17 things that the third person can be doing other than jerking off. Use your imagination people.
3. Fake Lesbians. I like pussy. I like to eat it and have it eaten by other human beings. It pisses me off to see these girls on screen trying to act like they want to muff dive and doing a worse job than the men while they are at it. I know that being bisexual is hip these days, but just stick to making out if youre just curious. If I want to see that Ill refer to #2. When I see lesbians having sex I want to see women who enjoy pleasing each other, in the absence of men. Not two boob jobs with a dildo playing tongue flick with each other.
4. Fake Head. Smacking a dick on your tongue is not a blow job. One thing that really pisses me off is watching a girl lick a guys cock 3 times and do all she can to avoid ruining her lipstick. Or the person who thinks that eating a girl out means licking her cunt like a lollipop for 5 seconds. You are not a dog and sex organs arent candy. If neither of you is going to enjoy it, dont do it at all.
5. Fake Orgasms. These are one step up from the No Orgasm Whatsoever scenes, but not by far. I cant stand looking at those hazed eyes, staring off into space while some girl tries her best to pretend the fat ass fucking her is doing a good job and then tries to moan as if she is cumming. In a recent issue of Playboy I learned that the retarded O face men give is fake, since the camera man is so busy trying to film the money shot that they have to go back and film the man pretending to get off. But at least they got off in the first place.
I choose to end here and avoid such topics like Fat, Ugly Men, The Filatio Ratio, and Skeletons with Balloon Tits because I feel that they need no explanation. Of course, I know that the majority of porn is created for the demographic of smelly fat guys that never get laid, but shouldnt we do them a favor and make their fantasies realistic so that they will at least know what to do when they finally get laid?
1. The Ball Cam. I am sick of fast-forwarding through 75% of my tapes to avoid staring at the hairy ass and shriveled up balls of some nasty guy. Face it. In real life no one is looking at it from that point of view for a reason (unless you are the bored third party in #2). What makes fantasy a lot hotter, in my opinion, is being able to visualize being there. I would replace this libido-killing angle with such angles as the Bouncing Titty Shot, the Voyeur Cam, and the Clit Cam. It seems to me that since most men would rather watch their cock going into pussy than their partner enjoying it, the camera may as well show it from the perspective of the man looking down, not from the perspective of the man doing the human pretzel. A LOT more time could be devoted to watching the amazingly erotic rippling movement down a womans body after each rhythmic thrust as a substitute for seeing some balls squish against her ass. If they cant compromise the Ball Cam they should at least show the whole angle so that we have the option of looking at those gorgeous tits!
2. Fake Threesomes. Nothing irritates me more than fake threesomes, except for #1. A threesome is 3 people having sex with each other, not two people having sex in front of someone who is masturbating. That is called voyeurism. I dont care if it is MMF or MFF, the third person should be doing his/her part to either give or receive. Off the top of my head, I can think of about 17 things that the third person can be doing other than jerking off. Use your imagination people.
3. Fake Lesbians. I like pussy. I like to eat it and have it eaten by other human beings. It pisses me off to see these girls on screen trying to act like they want to muff dive and doing a worse job than the men while they are at it. I know that being bisexual is hip these days, but just stick to making out if youre just curious. If I want to see that Ill refer to #2. When I see lesbians having sex I want to see women who enjoy pleasing each other, in the absence of men. Not two boob jobs with a dildo playing tongue flick with each other.
4. Fake Head. Smacking a dick on your tongue is not a blow job. One thing that really pisses me off is watching a girl lick a guys cock 3 times and do all she can to avoid ruining her lipstick. Or the person who thinks that eating a girl out means licking her cunt like a lollipop for 5 seconds. You are not a dog and sex organs arent candy. If neither of you is going to enjoy it, dont do it at all.
5. Fake Orgasms. These are one step up from the No Orgasm Whatsoever scenes, but not by far. I cant stand looking at those hazed eyes, staring off into space while some girl tries her best to pretend the fat ass fucking her is doing a good job and then tries to moan as if she is cumming. In a recent issue of Playboy I learned that the retarded O face men give is fake, since the camera man is so busy trying to film the money shot that they have to go back and film the man pretending to get off. But at least they got off in the first place.
I choose to end here and avoid such topics like Fat, Ugly Men, The Filatio Ratio, and Skeletons with Balloon Tits because I feel that they need no explanation. Of course, I know that the majority of porn is created for the demographic of smelly fat guys that never get laid, but shouldnt we do them a favor and make their fantasies realistic so that they will at least know what to do when they finally get laid?
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
the tingling feel of it. smells, heart beats ... its the little details that does it i htink.