Tuesday Jun 29, 2004

0
Sometimes you don't want to wake up, and then you wish you hadn't and spend all day wishing you were back in bed...and then when you get to bed you wonder why you are there...and remember that it's because being awake sucks.
_sarah_:
I wrote something like this many journals ago. It never showed up online. This is from a private, handwritten journal.

*digs for it*
*trips on shoes*
*swears*

Here it is!

'What happens when you're having the best dream of your life, and then you realize it is your life? The difference is that you can have a dream again. You can't always have DreamLife again.

Those precious moments in time when my dreams blurred with reality are gone, and now all I wish for is to fall asleep.

I can't fall asleep, though, because then the nightmares come. I call them this because the happiness of the DreamLife invades my dreams and makes me wake up, shaking, because it's no longer reality. My waking life is the nightmare, but I don't want to sleep because of the bittersweet "realities" presented in my dreams. I can't stay up. I can't sleep.

Where do I go? What do you do when the one person who helped you sleep peacefully is the one poking sticks into the clouds? What do you do when the one person you could cry upon is the one making you cry?'

This isn't me trying to help. This isn't me putting words into your mouth. This is me simply being me, for all it's worth.

*hugs you even though it will piss you off*

kiss

More Blogs