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silvan415

San Francisco

Member Since 2004

Followers 0 Following 6

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Monday May 09, 2005

May 9, 2005
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Son of a lesbian. How do I come out? What do I do to come out?

My mind feels like its breaking into several shards. I'm watching L word and its bringing back my childhood.

Is my gender identity merely a spawn of the contradictions I was raised with?

How much did being called "Man-cub" every time her friends were around affect me.

Was it that I always felt like this, and I am only just now responding to it?

Am I transgender, do I wish to be a woman? Am I actually a woman?

I'm getting an eternity knot between my shoulderblades. I'm going to do this soon. I'm going to do it only by contributions from my friends - none of my own money.

Everything is connected...but, I feel as if, for me, everything is fragments, dust. I can't hold on to anything. Part of me likes it this way.

maybe the first time in my life I'm being honest with myself.

I love the female body but, I cannot be a straight man.

More Blogs

  • 05.14.05
    0

    Saturday May 14, 2005

    Moving? So I'm thinking of moving into a place with Galina (a frie…
  • 05.12.05
    2

    Thursday May 12, 2005

    - Had a pretty good day today. Amazing poetry readings from my cla…
  • 05.11.05
    0

    Thursday May 12, 2005

    Gee - spoke to Sloan today (ex boyfriend) - that was interesting. …
  • 05.11.05
    0

    Thursday May 12, 2005

    Rasputina is sooooo qute! I went to a Rasputina concert and it wa…
  • 05.11.05
    0

    Wednesday May 11, 2005

    My life is a collection of peaks and valleys. i believe, this goes…
  • 05.10.05
    0

    Tuesday May 10, 2005

    (This is my other self) Nalo. Nalo got into the car with him. …
  • 05.10.05
    1

    Tuesday May 10, 2005

    *listens to Careless Love by Madelein Peyroux* *melt*
  • 05.09.05
    0

    Tuesday May 10, 2005

    (This is my other self.) Nalo. What goes on behind Nalo's eyes?…
  • 05.09.05
    0

    Monday May 09, 2005

    Son of a lesbian. How do I come out? What do I do to come out? My …
  • 03.30.05
    1

    Wednesday Mar 30, 2005

    bleh.

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