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silvan415

San Francisco

Member Since 2004

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Friday Jan 21, 2005

Jan 21, 2005
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Took up drawing again

I was over at Malissa's today with Jesse, and we played with playdough with Sebastien - I got bored rolling the dough, so I started making a figure based on basic drawing - the circles that compose the human body. I made a little orc.

When I got back to my place it went on. I played BloodRayne 2 and watched the motions and movements of the figures. I spent most of the night either playing BloodRayne 2, or drawing, or thinking up a concept for my Vampire character (for Vampire: Requium) - but either way I wasnt paying attention to Jesse. It was rather rude of me - so I was left with half a bio, Jess playing BloodRayne, and scrap-paper full of uncertain nudes. The human figure still illudes me - distancing illudes me, shading illudes me. I keep looking at pictures hoping to see something, see some patern.

Current Metaphysical Mind Puzzle -
Taking Seth's theories (from Seth speaks) and saying the Soul exists outside of time (but progresses through experience) - lets say that you are here, now, but your soul is timeless. The act of sex, the act of great inspiration, the act of fun - being that these acts open you up energetically - touch upon timelessness of the soul, and so they do not seem to exist. The soul is timeless, so by connecting to it you lose your connection and awareness to physical time. So - saying all this - what if your soul took an individual time, like this current era, and decided to come back as another identity. You would essentially exist twice, one before, one after. But if the soul is timeless, it would already have the experiences of all identities.

So what does that mean Nirvana and trancendance is? Is it not the awareness and finality of the soul, but rather bringing the soul into physical life? Is the soul already enlightened?

My thoughts currently transcend popular beliefes of reincarnation. If the soul exists outside of time - as time is a physical construct of physical reality, for which such similar energies have constructed into being, then wouldnt it stand to reason that the soul exists outside of time, energies exist outside of time, just as quantum particles transcend time and space. That would explain why people predict their own futures, know when danger is going to happen, spontaniously -know- how to do things wouldnt assistance or difficult learning.

So the soul is an octopus connecting to every identity you've had or are ever going to have - to it, all of your selves have existed and ceased to exist at the same time, death to it is a death of 1000 deaths, your mind is a piece of it but not its whole, and taking up a pen and deciding to learn educates your self and selves. Every hard relationship, every hard circumstance, every moment of happiness causes ripple effects. It is why Buddhists preach of the infinate now, the now - existing in the now - it is important to recognise the now because the now is a forever endless space within which the you exists.

Alright - headache now. (erases chalkboard and starts over)

So assuming Pavlov's theory of bells...

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