Gee - spoke to Sloan today (ex boyfriend) - that was interesting.
I was like two seconds into the conversation and like (Emotional vomit)
I swear, sometimes I'm so transparent. Or maybe its how i relate to him. Everything from the past two years came issuing forth - all the things that have happened.
Fuck i miss him. he's so cute.
i mean - slender,...
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I was like two seconds into the conversation and like (Emotional vomit)
I swear, sometimes I'm so transparent. Or maybe its how i relate to him. Everything from the past two years came issuing forth - all the things that have happened.
Fuck i miss him. he's so cute.
i mean - slender,...
Read More
Rasputina is sooooo qute!
I went to a Rasputina concert and it was great. She trills her voice - she really has such a command of her voice, and the instrument she uses.
She played Baracuda!
Malissa and I went to the Great American Music Hall on O'Ferral - its a damn gothic place, said to be haunted, red carpets and victorian walls with mirrors,...
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I went to a Rasputina concert and it was great. She trills her voice - she really has such a command of her voice, and the instrument she uses.
She played Baracuda!
Malissa and I went to the Great American Music Hall on O'Ferral - its a damn gothic place, said to be haunted, red carpets and victorian walls with mirrors,...
Read More
My life is a collection of peaks and valleys.
i believe, this goes into the equalibrium theory i've heard several philosophers mention. "Why are so many humans a collection of zeroes, never positive, never negative -"
I think we're pushed into zero. the universe pushes its children into 'zero'. You gain, you loose, you loose, you gain.
the state without suffering is Buddha's middle edge...
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i believe, this goes into the equalibrium theory i've heard several philosophers mention. "Why are so many humans a collection of zeroes, never positive, never negative -"
I think we're pushed into zero. the universe pushes its children into 'zero'. You gain, you loose, you loose, you gain.
the state without suffering is Buddha's middle edge...
Read More
(This is my other self)
Nalo.
Nalo got into the car with him.
For two years, She's been putting up with Erik's shit. He IMed her when he got out of boot camp. Got -out- of bootcamp.
"I stabbed my drill sargent in the neck. I attacked my bunk-mate, and I tried to kill myself."
He said, and she wasnt really looking at him.
She...
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Nalo.
Nalo got into the car with him.
For two years, She's been putting up with Erik's shit. He IMed her when he got out of boot camp. Got -out- of bootcamp.
"I stabbed my drill sargent in the neck. I attacked my bunk-mate, and I tried to kill myself."
He said, and she wasnt really looking at him.
She...
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*listens to Careless Love by Madelein Peyroux*
*melt*
*melt*
silvan415:
(This is my other self)
Nalo.
Nalo got into the car with him.
For two years, She's been putting up with Erik's shit. He IMed her when he got out of boot camp. Got -out- of bootcamp.
"I stabbed my drill sargent in the neck. I attacked my bunk-mate, and I tried to kill myself."
He said, and she wasnt really looking at him.
She was looking at his lips.
He drove through the town, one cigarette hanging out of his hand - drove through the town like they've done a million times before.
There was a moment awhile ago when she felt something strange as they sped down the street.
That was the last time she mentioned Susan while driving.
"Yeah - you know that tree back there?" He asked, and she nodded, "I nearly carreened into it going 60. the only reason I didnt is sitting next to me."
And he drove with two fingers on the steering wheel.
--
"so you want to do this?" He asked.
"Not sure." She said, pushing that long hair away from her face - that damned long hair.
"its up to you." he said, staring forward, driving, "never done anything like this before?"
She let out a sigh, staring at the steering wheel for a long time.
He took her hand, half for the shock value, half for pleasure.
"I had a dream about you." He said. "I want to talk to you about that."
She squeazed his crotch as they drove. His eyes looked like metal as he stared forward.
"I want you to pretend I'm a woman." he said, black hair melting across his Chinese features, eyes like metal, and he wasnt looking at the road.
He let out a smile which was abhorrant for him.
"And then I want you to fuck me."
Nalo.
Nalo got into the car with him.
For two years, She's been putting up with Erik's shit. He IMed her when he got out of boot camp. Got -out- of bootcamp.
"I stabbed my drill sargent in the neck. I attacked my bunk-mate, and I tried to kill myself."
He said, and she wasnt really looking at him.
She was looking at his lips.
He drove through the town, one cigarette hanging out of his hand - drove through the town like they've done a million times before.
There was a moment awhile ago when she felt something strange as they sped down the street.
That was the last time she mentioned Susan while driving.
"Yeah - you know that tree back there?" He asked, and she nodded, "I nearly carreened into it going 60. the only reason I didnt is sitting next to me."
And he drove with two fingers on the steering wheel.
--
"so you want to do this?" He asked.
"Not sure." She said, pushing that long hair away from her face - that damned long hair.
"its up to you." he said, staring forward, driving, "never done anything like this before?"
She let out a sigh, staring at the steering wheel for a long time.
He took her hand, half for the shock value, half for pleasure.
"I had a dream about you." He said. "I want to talk to you about that."
She squeazed his crotch as they drove. His eyes looked like metal as he stared forward.
"I want you to pretend I'm a woman." he said, black hair melting across his Chinese features, eyes like metal, and he wasnt looking at the road.
He let out a smile which was abhorrant for him.
"And then I want you to fuck me."
(This is my other self.)
Nalo.
What goes on behind Nalo's eyes?
Red bangs hang over the creasts of her cheekbones,
and she's clearly in drag.
Fuck.
Japanese and French canadian.
She drops a cigarette and flips me off while walking away.
Nalo.
What goes on behind Nalo's eyes?
Red bangs hang over the creasts of her cheekbones,
and she's clearly in drag.
Fuck.
Japanese and French canadian.
She drops a cigarette and flips me off while walking away.
Son of a lesbian. How do I come out? What do I do to come out?
My mind feels like its breaking into several shards. I'm watching L word and its bringing back my childhood.
Is my gender identity merely a spawn of the contradictions I was raised with?
How much did being called "Man-cub" every time her friends were around affect me.
Was it...
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My mind feels like its breaking into several shards. I'm watching L word and its bringing back my childhood.
Is my gender identity merely a spawn of the contradictions I was raised with?
How much did being called "Man-cub" every time her friends were around affect me.
Was it...
Read More
bleh.
silvan415:
Son of a lesbian. How do I come out? What do I do to come out?
My mind feels like its breaking into several shards. I'm watching L word and its bringing back my childhood.
Is my gender identity merely a spawn of the contradictions I was raised with?
How much did being called "Man-cub" every time her friends were around affect me.
Was it that I always felt like this, and I am only just now responding to it?
Am I transgender, do I wish to be a woman? Am I actually a woman?
I'm getting an eternity knot between my shoulderblades. I'm going to do this soon. I'm going to do it only by contributions from my friends - none of my own money.
Everything is connected...but, I feel as if, for me, everything is fragments, dust. I can't hold on to anything. Part of me likes it this way.
maybe the first time in my life I'm being honest with myself.
I love the female body but, I cannot be a straight man.
My mind feels like its breaking into several shards. I'm watching L word and its bringing back my childhood.
Is my gender identity merely a spawn of the contradictions I was raised with?
How much did being called "Man-cub" every time her friends were around affect me.
Was it that I always felt like this, and I am only just now responding to it?
Am I transgender, do I wish to be a woman? Am I actually a woman?
I'm getting an eternity knot between my shoulderblades. I'm going to do this soon. I'm going to do it only by contributions from my friends - none of my own money.
Everything is connected...but, I feel as if, for me, everything is fragments, dust. I can't hold on to anything. Part of me likes it this way.
maybe the first time in my life I'm being honest with myself.
I love the female body but, I cannot be a straight man.
"IF the Friend rose inside you, would you bow?"
-Rumi "A Glance"
Getting the blood flowing, I'm taking a walk with my mom down to Clement street to get some tea at Pera cafe. Today is peaceful, windy, I have just showered and my hair feels wet and cool. I am doing laundry, and that makes me feel good.
Air flows through my world, time...
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-Rumi "A Glance"
Getting the blood flowing, I'm taking a walk with my mom down to Clement street to get some tea at Pera cafe. Today is peaceful, windy, I have just showered and my hair feels wet and cool. I am doing laundry, and that makes me feel good.
Air flows through my world, time...
Read More
Today was a good day to fly.
The rain was warm,
The way cold water is warm during a summer night,
Floating alone and stoned in a swimming pool
Not quite done, not quite done.
Outside, I wasnt done.
I set the trash down, one hand, beside my ankle,
The droplets tilted toward me,
Through me,
Around me,
How everything becomes darkly shaded by the...
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The rain was warm,
The way cold water is warm during a summer night,
Floating alone and stoned in a swimming pool
Not quite done, not quite done.
Outside, I wasnt done.
I set the trash down, one hand, beside my ankle,
The droplets tilted toward me,
Through me,
Around me,
How everything becomes darkly shaded by the...
Read More
I had a good day. I started doing stretching exercizes in the morning and evening stretching my legs, arms, back, limbs. Its definitely having an effect on my energy level as well as my limberness while working. I walk very oddly putting a lot of strain on my legs, knees, and on my feet. I feel it while walking up stairs especially, and while lifting....
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Goddamn I'm so deep. So - Deep, so smart, my brain is so mangormious - I take pictures of it using Sonagrams just so I can see how deep I really am.
Saw I love Huckabees and I felt like expressing that.
Delusional thinking is one of the things that keeps people from ever achieving their true potential. Reality is at once composed of everything...
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Saw I love Huckabees and I felt like expressing that.
Delusional thinking is one of the things that keeps people from ever achieving their true potential. Reality is at once composed of everything...
Read More
coldblood81:
Monkies scare me.
EEEEEKKKK
EEEEEKKKK