sicpowered

I hope you have spikes on your tail too. Those are essentially for ticky tocky lizard types.

leaving north for good? or just as a i'm going insane and need to drive very far from here leaving north thing?

My bear gets rolled on and drooled on. I punt him out of bed when it's hot. Hmmmm. Kinda the same treatment my lovers used to get.

And on some rare occasions when I've more than one person vie for my attention, I nearly come apart.

Come apart in a good way?

Here's to you too, mr. deeply strange and serene!

I like Grrrrrr!

About a thousand beautiful and terrible things have sped through my mind tonight, and I've already missed the chance to write them down, now gone to the whims of whatever muse slipped past my guard, into my garden, plucked at the fruits of my creative genius, and sped back into the night, laughing and smiling.

yes. I like that very much.

I have a bear I sleep with, Robert, the french pronunciation of course. I found him spooning me in my spinster bed the other morning. It was endearing and pathetic.

*looks up*
I find it mildly reassuring when I see: YOU ARE: 730A_trixel_fem. Why do I not see this every day? I'm sure there are points during the day when seeing: YOU ARE: Lauri-Ann would be very helpful. And affirming. People don't say my name enough. I like to hear people call out my name with need or desire.

That was beautiful. You're a deeply strange and strangely serene man. You have a rare and unconcerned awareness of your smallness in the universe that is a joy to behold and an inspiration.

'I miss being in love and knowing what to do with it'

oh yes, I know what you mean... I'm beginning to feel like I've forgotten everything about it. There's a song by American Music Club that opens:
'I've been cut off for so long from anyone, from anyone
I'm like an ant on your mat
You can't see me going down the drain'

I always identified with that. For more wise words by Eitzel, see today's jrnl.

Chin up, lad! as they used to say in the North of England.


PS - who is she?

Basically I hate tear streaks and little wet spots on my pillow, mostly I hate that my life is in a place where I get so emotional that I can't contain it any longer.

You can come cry on my bosom. I've been told it's good for that. Having said that, count yourself lucky, boy. You're alive and you feel. Many people are dead inside. Now that is hell.

I did a bunch more librarian pics, with lipstick on, but I didn't put them in my folder.

Oh and you so nailed it. Decadent and a lot lonely. A lot lonely.

Thanks for your comments in my time of pissed-off-ness.

'Some dark nights are for visiting, not for living in. but visit with all the power you can muster, and go home alone, and bitter and drunk, and love it.'

This is the nicest/strangest/most thoughtful/inspirational thing anyone has said to me for some time. I will carry it with me.

Although I'm inclined to think the night is only ever for visiting. The night belongs to vampires, owls and cats, and the rest of us just get to visit. At our own risk.

*stretch*

I'm feeling incredibly decadent and a little lonely right now. I'm not sure why. Here's hoping we have great Saturdays.

Uh-huh.

True though, I've never had a lot of affection for the English, which may be partly why I've spent the past 20 years studying the French.

Mind you, it wasn't until I lived in France that I appreciated the English!

Things we have that the French lack:
- a sense of humour
- self-deprecation
- popular culture

It's typical: when I'm here I want to be over there, and when I'm over there I want to be here. Such is the tragic destiny of the Sagittarius.

Was there blood? Not that I'm interested in blood or anything. Nope. *whistles*

Thank you for the immensely sweet things you wrote in my journal, mr.

event horizon *shudder*....that movie left me feeling very derelict inside. I didn't like it.

Yes, I am prepared for my next mission...

I can't make head nor tail of it, and I love it. You one crazy mo-fo.

'rubish' ? - dthe fuck?

But Event horizon, yeah, oooohh

Liberati tutemi ex inferis - I don't know how to spell it but it still sends shivers down my spine...

Mmm, I know what you mean, I can certainly identify with that image of an evening out and with the quasi-suicidal tendency to go out and do it all over again...

I also had a chuckle of recognition at the fact that you enjoy making others uncomfortable... I once met this girl who said to me, 'You know, you're really difficult to talk to'. I think I probably just scowled in reply.

My favourite trick is the pregnant silence: I force people to tell me more than they really want to about themselves by remaining silent and looking expectant until they feel compelled to say something else. Works every time!

*looks away pretending not to notice...* damn. saw me...errr...hello?

I've read a lot of 'old fashioned studies of chaos theory', as you put it, recently and it's all pretty interesting, but there's a kind of vanishing point where this theory meets religion and that's what really intrigues me...

So what's The Confusion about? I've read and enjoyed Snow Crash and Cryptonomicon and am waiting for Quicksilver to come out in paperback so I can
a) afford it and
b) hold its 900 pages with my puny wrists,
but I haven't heard of The confusion...

damnit, i was supposed to take over the world too! Now that I know I have competition I will have to destroy you...

anyway, seems you've got a lot going on! It's good to hear that half of it is good.

wait a minute! Oklahoma????

Porcelain Death Machine, I like it! Sounds like a cool name for a band, no? Suckin' on the ol' glass teet is probably my favorite TV metaphor, kind of an oldie...

My fascination for Alaska, um.... not sure really! I've never been, it just appeals to my ascetic side. I used to love Northern Exposure (speaking of TV) and have just read T.C. Boyle's Drop City, which is excellent and rekindled my cold Alaskan flame (although his descriptions of giant mosquitos gave me pause...)

Gotta go!