"Leave the wood outside
What all the girls here are freezing cold
You can go now
You're already in there
I'll be wearing you tatoo
You're already in there
Thought I was over the bridge now
I'm already in
Circles and circles and circles again..."
Freezing in this heat. all this heat going to my head, at least it's leaking out in words I can...
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What all the girls here are freezing cold
You can go now
You're already in there
I'll be wearing you tatoo
You're already in there
Thought I was over the bridge now
I'm already in
Circles and circles and circles again..."
Freezing in this heat. all this heat going to my head, at least it's leaking out in words I can...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Hold that thought...
ok, sorry. I'm looking for a little paragraph I once wrote. Problem is, see, I wrote it in one of my journals. I've got 7, one permanently missing, and one in the car. each is about 180 to 220 pages of horrible hand-scrawled psychotic monomania, with the occasional bad sketch, pasted magazine picture, or ode/lament to some girl/lover/passerby. On the bright side,...
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ok, sorry. I'm looking for a little paragraph I once wrote. Problem is, see, I wrote it in one of my journals. I've got 7, one permanently missing, and one in the car. each is about 180 to 220 pages of horrible hand-scrawled psychotic monomania, with the occasional bad sketch, pasted magazine picture, or ode/lament to some girl/lover/passerby. On the bright side,...
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lilmissmorbid:
Glad you liked.
I'm with ya on the mail thing. I love getting notes of lust in the mail.. Maybe I'll write myself a love note and send it to me. Who better to know what to say then myself right?
edited cause i type/spell for shit
[Edited on Jun 01, 2004 6:32AM]
I'm with ya on the mail thing. I love getting notes of lust in the mail.. Maybe I'll write myself a love note and send it to me. Who better to know what to say then myself right?
edited cause i type/spell for shit
[Edited on Jun 01, 2004 6:32AM]
woodstock:
Hi, I am glad you liked my journal. I can understand that running around like a chicken with your head cut off looking for someting mode. I feel like half of my life is spent doing that! 
BTW, did you notice that you are only 11 days older than me, that is kinda cool.
[Edited on Jun 01, 2004 12:59PM]
BTW, did you notice that you are only 11 days older than me, that is kinda cool.
[Edited on Jun 01, 2004 12:59PM]
something like a tick tock in my head, the notes and pulses subtle and driving. I'm leaving, soon, north, far far away. Like Hook's reptilian friend...
...but not yet.
...but not yet.
trixel:
I hope you have spikes on your tail too. Those are essentially for ticky tocky lizard types. 
oubliette1:
leaving north for good? or just as a i'm going insane and need to drive very far from here leaving north thing?
Caution: Longwinded Babbling may ensue, consult with a physician before application, If rash or redness occurs discontinue whenever it seems convenient.
I'm passing the time, for another place awaits me. I hope to last long enough here to save a neat little nest egg of cash, and get out of this place. Anywhere but here. Wanderlust aside, It's been nice around these parts, if not...
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I'm passing the time, for another place awaits me. I hope to last long enough here to save a neat little nest egg of cash, and get out of this place. Anywhere but here. Wanderlust aside, It's been nice around these parts, if not...
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trixel:
My bear gets rolled on and drooled on. I punt him out of bed when it's hot. Hmmmm. Kinda the same treatment my lovers used to get. 
And on some rare occasions when I've more than one person vie for my attention, I nearly come apart.
Come apart in a good way?
Here's to you too, mr. deeply strange and serene!
I like Grrrrrr!
And on some rare occasions when I've more than one person vie for my attention, I nearly come apart.
Come apart in a good way?
Here's to you too, mr. deeply strange and serene!
I like Grrrrrr!
I feel damn good today, maybe better than in months. All the better because no good thing has happened to me, for me, or about me. The good news, doesn't have my name in it. Nothing bad, nothing outrageous, nothing too awful. Hell, I even had a serious case of the freaking weird evil dreams, and I still had a good day.Tomorrow, I will also...
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trixel:
About a thousand beautiful and terrible things have sped through my mind tonight, and I've already missed the chance to write them down, now gone to the whims of whatever muse slipped past my guard, into my garden, plucked at the fruits of my creative genius, and sped back into the night, laughing and smiling.
yes. I like that very much.
I have a bear I sleep with, Robert, the french pronunciation of course. I found him spooning me in my spinster bed the other morning. It was endearing and pathetic.
*looks up*
I find it mildly reassuring when I see: YOU ARE: 730A_trixel_fem. Why do I not see this every day? I'm sure there are points during the day when seeing: YOU ARE: Lauri-Ann would be very helpful. And affirming. People don't say my name enough. I like to hear people call out my name with need or desire.
yes. I like that very much.
I have a bear I sleep with, Robert, the french pronunciation of course. I found him spooning me in my spinster bed the other morning. It was endearing and pathetic.
*looks up*
I find it mildly reassuring when I see: YOU ARE: 730A_trixel_fem. Why do I not see this every day? I'm sure there are points during the day when seeing: YOU ARE: Lauri-Ann would be very helpful. And affirming. People don't say my name enough. I like to hear people call out my name with need or desire.
cutriver:
That was beautiful. You're a deeply strange and strangely serene man. You have a rare and unconcerned awareness of your smallness in the universe that is a joy to behold and an inspiration.
'I miss being in love and knowing what to do with it'
oh yes, I know what you mean... I'm beginning to feel like I've forgotten everything about it. There's a song by American Music Club that opens:
'I've been cut off for so long from anyone, from anyone
I'm like an ant on your mat
You can't see me going down the drain'
I always identified with that. For more wise words by Eitzel, see today's jrnl.
Chin up, lad! as they used to say in the North of England.
PS - who is she?
'I miss being in love and knowing what to do with it'
oh yes, I know what you mean... I'm beginning to feel like I've forgotten everything about it. There's a song by American Music Club that opens:
'I've been cut off for so long from anyone, from anyone
I'm like an ant on your mat
You can't see me going down the drain'
I always identified with that. For more wise words by Eitzel, see today's jrnl.
Chin up, lad! as they used to say in the North of England.
PS - who is she?
Today We (the royal "we") worked, then meandered a grad. party in honor of a friend, met a nice girl, who lives a good 3 hours away, even the way We drive.
All in all, ten times better than Friday night, which sucked and shall be regarded as one of the few nights when the weight of things got the better of Us. Basically I...
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All in all, ten times better than Friday night, which sucked and shall be regarded as one of the few nights when the weight of things got the better of Us. Basically I...
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trixel:
Basically I hate tear streaks and little wet spots on my pillow, mostly I hate that my life is in a place where I get so emotional that I can't contain it any longer.
You can come cry on my bosom. I've been told it's good for that. Having said that, count yourself lucky, boy. You're alive and you feel. Many people are dead inside. Now that is hell.
I did a bunch more librarian pics, with lipstick on, but I didn't put them in my folder.
You can come cry on my bosom. I've been told it's good for that. Having said that, count yourself lucky, boy. You're alive and you feel. Many people are dead inside. Now that is hell.
I did a bunch more librarian pics, with lipstick on, but I didn't put them in my folder.
trixel:
Oh and you so nailed it. Decadent and a lot lonely. A lot lonely.
Fill my days with useless things, surprised from time to time by the whims of fate, who seem only to grace me when i turn my face from them.
A depressingly successful line of thought for me over the years. I sure I'm not the only one. So I laugh at myself, and play the ass and enjoy. come join me in a rising laugh...
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A depressingly successful line of thought for me over the years. I sure I'm not the only one. So I laugh at myself, and play the ass and enjoy. come join me in a rising laugh...
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cutriver:
Thanks for your comments in my time of pissed-off-ness.
'Some dark nights are for visiting, not for living in. but visit with all the power you can muster, and go home alone, and bitter and drunk, and love it.'
This is the nicest/strangest/most thoughtful/inspirational thing anyone has said to me for some time. I will carry it with me.
Although I'm inclined to think the night is only ever for visiting. The night belongs to vampires, owls and cats, and the rest of us just get to visit. At our own risk.
'Some dark nights are for visiting, not for living in. but visit with all the power you can muster, and go home alone, and bitter and drunk, and love it.'
This is the nicest/strangest/most thoughtful/inspirational thing anyone has said to me for some time. I will carry it with me.
Although I'm inclined to think the night is only ever for visiting. The night belongs to vampires, owls and cats, and the rest of us just get to visit. At our own risk.
trixel:
*stretch*
I'm feeling incredibly decadent and a little lonely right now. I'm not sure why. Here's hoping we have great Saturdays.
I'm feeling incredibly decadent and a little lonely right now. I'm not sure why. Here's hoping we have great Saturdays.
Ok so last entry, a little hard to understand. but think of it as bebop, avant, or neo beatnik, and it won't make any more sense, but it might have a neato rhythm to it that I didn't intend.
Gotta make this one short, while messing around with some buddies, I got my right thumb smashed REALLY hard. So suffice to say, typing a lot...
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Gotta make this one short, while messing around with some buddies, I got my right thumb smashed REALLY hard. So suffice to say, typing a lot...
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cutriver:
Uh-huh.
True though, I've never had a lot of affection for the English, which may be partly why I've spent the past 20 years studying the French.
Mind you, it wasn't until I lived in France that I appreciated the English!
Things we have that the French lack:
- a sense of humour
- self-deprecation
- popular culture
It's typical: when I'm here I want to be over there, and when I'm over there I want to be here. Such is the tragic destiny of the Sagittarius.
True though, I've never had a lot of affection for the English, which may be partly why I've spent the past 20 years studying the French.
Mind you, it wasn't until I lived in France that I appreciated the English!
Things we have that the French lack:
- a sense of humour
- self-deprecation
- popular culture
It's typical: when I'm here I want to be over there, and when I'm over there I want to be here. Such is the tragic destiny of the Sagittarius.
trixel:
Was there blood? Not that I'm interested in blood or anything. Nope. *whistles*
Thank you for the immensely sweet things you wrote in my journal, mr.
Thank you for the immensely sweet things you wrote in my journal, mr.
So back for more are you, well..
I brought reinforcements with me Sat night, so I at least could be vaguely social while drinking. We bs'd about wildly eclectic sort of rubish, from Godly comparisons ( The Nordics -vs- Kthulu and gang) to movies (event horizon....*shudder*) to good old fashioned arbitrary uselessness, and the obligatory Kung Fu banter. Basically nothing to write home about, but...
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I brought reinforcements with me Sat night, so I at least could be vaguely social while drinking. We bs'd about wildly eclectic sort of rubish, from Godly comparisons ( The Nordics -vs- Kthulu and gang) to movies (event horizon....*shudder*) to good old fashioned arbitrary uselessness, and the obligatory Kung Fu banter. Basically nothing to write home about, but...
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oubliette1:
event horizon *shudder*....that movie left me feeling very derelict inside. I didn't like it.
Yes, I am prepared for my next mission...
Yes, I am prepared for my next mission...
cutriver:
I can't make head nor tail of it, and I love it. You one crazy mo-fo.
'rubish' ? - dthe fuck?
But Event horizon, yeah, oooohh
Liberati tutemi ex inferis - I don't know how to spell it but it still sends shivers down my spine...
'rubish' ? - dthe fuck?
But Event horizon, yeah, oooohh
Liberati tutemi ex inferis - I don't know how to spell it but it still sends shivers down my spine...
Thank you thank you I'll be here all week, now for my next number, a little one I like to call...
When I go out I assume I'm not going to meet anyone I didn't already know, at most 1-3 people will actually talk with me, and that I basically make others uncomfortable, and tend to enjoy it. I go to the bar and have...
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When I go out I assume I'm not going to meet anyone I didn't already know, at most 1-3 people will actually talk with me, and that I basically make others uncomfortable, and tend to enjoy it. I go to the bar and have...
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cutriver:
Mmm, I know what you mean, I can certainly identify with that image of an evening out and with the quasi-suicidal tendency to go out and do it all over again...
I also had a chuckle of recognition at the fact that you enjoy making others uncomfortable... I once met this girl who said to me, 'You know, you're really difficult to talk to'. I think I probably just scowled in reply.
My favourite trick is the pregnant silence: I force people to tell me more than they really want to about themselves by remaining silent and looking expectant until they feel compelled to say something else. Works every time!
I also had a chuckle of recognition at the fact that you enjoy making others uncomfortable... I once met this girl who said to me, 'You know, you're really difficult to talk to'. I think I probably just scowled in reply.
My favourite trick is the pregnant silence: I force people to tell me more than they really want to about themselves by remaining silent and looking expectant until they feel compelled to say something else. Works every time!
oubliette1:
*looks away pretending not to notice...* damn. saw me...errr...hello?
Top five things I did today:
Uno- completely avoided even a hesitant look at anything to do with responsibleness, all day geek fest
Zwei- I ate breakfast, within 6 hours of waking. Truly phenomenal
San- cup o joe at the coffee hut, while listening to music WAY too loud on stupid recently fixed iPod
Quatre- read a bit and a half out of a good...
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Uno- completely avoided even a hesitant look at anything to do with responsibleness, all day geek fest
Zwei- I ate breakfast, within 6 hours of waking. Truly phenomenal
San- cup o joe at the coffee hut, while listening to music WAY too loud on stupid recently fixed iPod
Quatre- read a bit and a half out of a good...
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cutriver:
I've read a lot of 'old fashioned studies of chaos theory', as you put it, recently and it's all pretty interesting, but there's a kind of vanishing point where this theory meets religion and that's what really intrigues me...
So what's The Confusion about? I've read and enjoyed Snow Crash and Cryptonomicon and am waiting for Quicksilver to come out in paperback so I can
a) afford it and
b) hold its 900 pages with my puny wrists,
but I haven't heard of The confusion...
So what's The Confusion about? I've read and enjoyed Snow Crash and Cryptonomicon and am waiting for Quicksilver to come out in paperback so I can
a) afford it and
b) hold its 900 pages with my puny wrists,
but I haven't heard of The confusion...
oubliette1:
damnit, i was supposed to take over the world too! Now that I know I have competition I will have to destroy you...
anyway, seems you've got a lot going on! It's good to hear that half of it is good.
anyway, seems you've got a lot going on! It's good to hear that half of it is good.
I'd say I'm even easier tonight,but that would (has) take more words, which is by nature less easy.
Maybe I'm just more lazy , or thoughtful, or interested in the sound of my own thoughts. Or none of the above.
I didn't really get a lot of sleep last night, and I don't know why. Not a good feeling, sort of like taking a out...
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Maybe I'm just more lazy
, or thoughtful, or interested in the sound of my own thoughts. Or none of the above.
I didn't really get a lot of sleep last night, and I don't know why. Not a good feeling, sort of like taking a out...
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oubliette1:
wait a minute! Oklahoma????
cutriver:
Porcelain Death Machine, I like it! Sounds like a cool name for a band, no? Suckin' on the ol' glass teet is probably my favorite TV metaphor, kind of an oldie...
My fascination for Alaska, um.... not sure really! I've never been, it just appeals to my ascetic side. I used to love Northern Exposure (speaking of TV) and have just read T.C. Boyle's Drop City, which is excellent and rekindled my cold Alaskan flame (although his descriptions of giant mosquitos gave me pause...)
Gotta go!
My fascination for Alaska, um.... not sure really! I've never been, it just appeals to my ascetic side. I used to love Northern Exposure (speaking of TV) and have just read T.C. Boyle's Drop City, which is excellent and rekindled my cold Alaskan flame (although his descriptions of giant mosquitos gave me pause...)
Gotta go!
Wouldn't it be lovely to have a tail? I'm wishing for either a super furry bushy tail I can stroke people with, or a prehensile tail to, um, grab people with. As to sharp objects, I used to carry a knife, but no longer do.
*wraps fluffy tail around your leg* Ok, you can't move now.