A lot of times I see articles about how one of the things that kills meeting someone is if they monopolize the conversation about only themselves; but, it can go the other way as well. Conversation is a give and take, ebb and flow, and if all you do is talk about the other person or encourage them to talk about themselves, it doesn't really give the other person anything to go off of or react to if it's just one-sided.
I'll give an example. My ex-wife and I had just split up, and there was a woman at work I really liked. She was smart and sarcastic like me, and we really clicked in our conversations. Eventually I worked up the nerve to ask her out, and she said yes. This was going to be my first adult date (my ex and I got together VERY young), and the first person I'd went out with since my ex, so to say I was nervous would be an understatement. Now, I knew that I really didn't do a lot of listening with my ex, so I was determined to not make that same mistake. I was gonna make sure this woman knew she was being listened to.
I picked her up, we went to dinner, and then we went to a concert. I thought things were going great; any time she tried to shift the spotlight to me, I made sure to get it right back on her. I truly thought I was doing the right thing. But when I dropped her off and told her how much fun I'd had and that I hoped we could do it again soon, she hugged me and said she didn't think so. When I asked why, she smiled sadly and said, "You spent the whole night talking about me and didn't give me anything about yourself. It almost felt like I was going for a job interview...or to therapy! I don't think you're ready yet to start dating."
It hurt, but the more I thought about it the more I knew she was right. I thought I was being selfless by not talking about myself, but I was actually being selfish because she had truly wanted to know what I was thinking and each time she tried I shot her questions down. It's when I promised myself that I would get better at conversations, that I wouldn't repeat the same mistake again (not that I had another date after that one for years to come, but that's a whole other issue LOL). Communication only works if both parties are talking and listening to each other.