ponderings

7

Once you're finished with a relationship, it's easy to slip into the "I hate you" mode (love and hate are very close to each other, and sometimes the other person truly deserves your hatred) or the "they made a mistake letting me go" attitude. And, sometimes you just pine after them, missing the "what could've been" you imagined in your head.

I've taken a different approach, trying to not let this person live inside my head rent-free. It's not that I'm not a good man, it's more I wasn't good for them (I'm assuming). I don't wish them ill, I don't wish them well; I try not to think about them at all. It's not easy (nor is seeing them 5 days a week), but I think that ultimately it's the healthiest. At least for me it is; for others, your experience may vary.

Oh, and if your friends and family hate/pity this person, that's perfectly fine. Nothing wrong with having people in your corner feeling the things you're trying not to feel LOL

jacleric:
Find ease in my protracted assholery, my friend:  The love of my life (a woman to whom I gave a decade of my life, and tanked my credit score to spoil... for whom I moved states, heaven and earth... and worked two jobs to support, like a chump) cheated on me, and left me, 10 years ago.  I still call her the love of my life, because I STILL have never been as attracted to anyone before, or since.  For the first couple years after she chewed up my heart and shat it out, I could not think of her without curling up into the fetal position, or wanting to hunt her down and snuff her with my bare hands.  But you know what?  We are FRIENDS now.  I forgave her, not for her sake, but just to quench the burning hatred in my core.  It was eating me alive... I forgave her for my own sanity.  Leaving me was her loss, not mine.  And regularly now, she texts me and says that losing me was the biggest mistake of her life.  Few men get that kind of closure.  But even if you don't... move on.  Anyone who did not understand you was not worth your time, my brother.  Sorry for the overshare, hehe.  ;-}>
sheashannara:
@jacleric no, please feel free to share! If this isn't a safe space, I don't know where is LOL and you're right, sometimes you forgive for your sake, not theirs

More Blogs