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sheashannara

Las Vegas, NV

Member Since 2009

Followers 380 Following 2119

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helpful tips

Apr 25, 2020
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Either from personal experience or observation, here are some tips I think are helpful and useful in life :)

1. Don't fall in love with a sex worker if you only interact with them during their job. This is not to say that you can't develop a relationship with a sex worker outside of their job, but if the only time you talk to them is when you're paying them, then it's not a real relationship and you shouldn't invest time or energy into it. You can be friends with them, but if you're paying for your interactions (either from a subscription or from buying their photos/videos) then it can't be romantic.

As an aside, personally I could do without the "babe/baby/darling/honey/sweetie/cutie" talk, unless that's literally how you talk to everyone in your life. I know it's pretty much industry standard, but it creates an illusion of intimacy, and I think it would lead to a lot less confusion.

2. Porn is not useful as sex education. That's not to say that some porn can't be educational, but as a general rule it definitely doesn't help. I'll use myself as an example. I watched porn when I was in my mid-to-late teens, and when I finally became intimate with a woman I thought that she should be able to cum just by being fucked, because that's what happened in porn. Yes, I now know that those women were faking it and that the majority of porn (especially back then) was written by men and didn't give any thought to the female experience, but since all of my male friends -before I lost my virginity- told me that of course the girls they slept with all came just from fucking, I didn't have any better information to go on. Thank the Gods I eventually grew up and learned better, but still...

3. Never be afraid to ask for what someone likes, or offer up what you do like. That one trick may have been a resounding success with your last partners, but if you're trying it with your new partner and they aren't giving that same reaction, you should probably ask them if they like it or what they would like instead. Same goes for if somebody is doing something to you, and you don't like it and if they really want to get you there they should do (insert whatever they should do) instead. If you don't speak up, how will they know? None of us are mind readers, thank the Gods.

4. Always interact with others the way you want to be interacted with. Yes, this is the Golden Rule, but it needs repeating. If you wouldn't like it if someone came up to you at your job and berated you or treated you as an object instead of human (or if that does happen and you hate it), then don't do it to others. It doesn't matter what context or where you're interacting with them, if you wouldn't want it said to you (or to a close friend/family member) then don't say it to other people. Period.

5. If you've learned from your mistakes, don't be afraid to let others know that. By this, I mean if you used to be racist or homophobic (for example) but you've since grown and learned, you can't go back and change your past but you can stand up for yourself and acknowledge your mistakes while still being proud of your growth. People can change, so if you have you don't have to be defined by your mistakes in the past...as long as you don't try and pretend those mistakes didn't happen.

olgakulaga:
Great blog!
Apr 26, 2020
sheashannara:
@olgakulaga thank you so much!
Apr 26, 2020

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