she

He said she said:

"Do you really love me and only me?," she said

"Of course I do.. can you imagine me giving the fish hook to any other girl like I do to you? I don't think any other girl would really appreciate that... most would probably be offended or slap me," he said.

"Oh.. so you DO love me," she said, with pure belief in filth, love and complications.



This weekend I went to my very best friends baby shower.







She was home from California for a few days, it was amazing to see her, it's been a while, but..... It was surreal. I am nowhere near where she is in her life. As she opened every gift, I leaned to another friend with the same "no no.. no to husbands and babies," sentiments and said "what the hell is that thing for." Neither one of us understood any of the gifts.. It was strange, and great... they're kind of the same thing sometimes, ya know?

The cake was good.. and I ate some olives.. so it was a good day..



She's thinking of naming it Berlyn...

cute.

I kept calling her "preggers," ... is that insensitive?





(I stripped my hair of all its color... check it out ^^ in its "all natural," gross glory)

This weather makes me play outside in the woods... it makes me go on adventures. It makes me smile. Makes me skin my knees, ride my bike, twirl around, lay in the grass, take my shoes and socks off, ride with the windows down and sing along... this weather is amazing.



It makes me put on my big cliche' sunglasses on.. that every hip girl in the world owns a variation of.. and I look like every single girl in the world, and no one knows me from anyone else... and I don't care. I run in the mud-I duck under bushes- I stomp on thorn bushes- I scream into the trees- and I make a kissy face at the camera while an equally dirty human holds it. I want to be ten again. I want to not care about my skin, my job, my loans, my bills, my taxes, my overtime, my second job, my resume, my schooling, my caloric intake, or anything else similar.... I want a cool-aid mouth, pink with youth, just a few inches below my brain.. which is full of unstoppable dreams.

What happened to piggy tails and water gun fights?



--There were days of hairdye, eyeliner, and soft poses..--

--I don't believe in this kind of beauty anymore, I don't think... Color roots, make up and eyelash curlers... I just don't have it in me anymore. Take me for me, if on occasion I put eyeliner on.. you better notice.. and you better say "daaaang." Okay?--













"I want to pull your hair and choke you and give you the fishook and slap your ass and then hold your face and tell you that I love you," he said, with steel conviction, passion, and a certain warm sadness she usually didn't sense in his speech, but always saw in his eyes.