14.06.08
Still in a good mood. This is worrying me. Despite working out that K is probably right and we ain't going to work (I bet you any money she's decided the opposite right now) and despite mulling over my only regret in life (a girl at school) I'm still seeing clearly. Worries me, must all go wrong soon.
13.06.08
Right now my brain feels like it just wont stop screaming.
The maxim of "know they self" unforunatly really means "know everyone". So now I am being hit be flashes of understand of people and how they act, of our surface layer and the underkneeth that we are unaware of. This being me these flashes come and go and I cannot hold on to... Read More
So I will have to try and win her back. How? By seeing her for who she is again By trying to understand what it is that gets her up in the morning. All the things that I'd forgotten to do for months. All these things that I couldn't do for months because I was locked in depression that she couldn't see.
I've been fretting all day, its been real tough. As I was getting changed at the gym, it struck me that I'm still in love with her. I've been pretending for months, bottling it all up. Its just not worked, I can't pretend. I've been real unfair to K as well. What can I do now? No matter how pointless I've got tell her I... Read More
This shit just goes on and on. This is what you suffer for being a true believer. Leaves me half wishing for the singularity of Newspeak, narrowed down margin, less room for mis understanding. Like this shit with Kate. What perspective do I take. Take Ocrams Razor and go simplest, which is accept what she says. The trust prinsiple works for this to. But modern... Read More