sethy

Well, as I start typing this its 3:12am on tuesday morning.

Been crying for past hour and a half or so.

Not sure how today was, on one hand it could be absolutely wonderful, and on the other it could be terrible.

Round about 1:45 I got home...

Today started with Me, Megs, Amanda, and some others.

It was cool, Amanda left early, and after a while the other left. Day was going quite good so far.

So we finish lunch and Megs and I decide to go hang out at Amandas...

On car ride there meg mentioned something about her medicine... I was confused... she said it was for her cancer... at first i thought she was joking, but apparently she was serious, that fucking sucks, shes 18 and has a benign tumor near her brain.

So the subject changed to a more happy one, we got to amandas house...

Helped feed the horses and do chores and stuff just cuz thats what Seths do best.

We ended up stayin at Amandas till like 1:30, I have no idea how time went by that fast but it did.

While there I almost gave in to temptation, i mean, wow, amanda is everything i could dream of in a female, but again (and ive whined about it before in my journal) she is taken and I care about her too much to do anything to hurt that. Still... I havnt felt this way about any other person in so long.


So today could have been good: hung out with two amasingly nice and beautiful women.

And then theres the bad...

Bad is winning out...

Meg: I know you dont even know I have a SG account or probably what it is but I care for you so get better damnit because I couldnt stand thought of... yhea...

(I know I shouldnt cry since im a guy and stuff, but i figure its better to get it out of my system now...)

Back to drenching my pillow with tears.