seth0067

Oh my, how life is complicated. I arise this morning not where I initially expected to be. Fresh in my mind are dreams where i watch what look to be mechs in cornfields who, as i walk closer, turn out to be girls on stilts. Sparrows lie crushed within the flattened dead stalks. Complex emotions. Disturbed. Somewhat sad. Why does complication fascinate me so much? I have often thought the past few years that scars have become more and more attractive, and then I realize that I have always been attracted to scars, but more so the interior ones. I was with my first girl for seven years on a relationship that was founded on me trying to heal someone. I think I may have succeeded in some ways, but the cost was that i had no function after the healing was performed. Where to go and what to do... it's still so up in the air: where I will be in a few weeks, so who knows... at least i hope a friendship will remain no matter what happens...

But then, is it a law that friendships can neither be gained nor lost? I feel a valuable friendship slipping away and I am somewhat saddened by it (I really hope I am being dramatic). I'm trying... though you can only hold up your end.

PS - to DJD for listening to me yammer last night. I owe a girlie a drink...