serudeboi

So I am confused as all hell about what to think/feel right now. I met this really wonderful girl a month ago and have been spending like all my time with her(b/c until recently she didnt have any other friends on campus and she really needed someone to talk to.) Weve hardly been able to keep our hands off each other during that time, but she said she wasnt ready for a relationship yet because she still loved the X and onlt the X, so weve been doing our best to keep what we have at a really deep friendship level. Weve slipped up a few times and wound up making out, sometimes making out hardcore. Well, Sunday me and her both kind of slipped up. She came home from her parents drunk and felt like sharing the happiness. I know I should have said something to her at the time but its kind of hard to when someone is rubbing your happy place . But anywho things came very damn close to going way to far but luckily we both recovered our senses. But she kinda blamed what happened on me, I am inclined to disagree. But anyways after a month of telling me she loves me but loves the X more and that if things didnt work out she had some stuff to work out but I was still #1 on the wait list but because of what happened she pretty much blew me off three days ago because she was afraid something like Sunday night might happen again. So then 3 days later she winds up putting herself in another situation with a guy that she just met 2 days ago where she winds up making out with him and spending the night at his house. Grrr . . .
Im still her bestest friend in the world but that kinda pisses me off.