XXIV: JESUS WEPT.
[ Now playing on the Severe Trauma Sounds... Fascist Jockitch by Skinny Puppy from Rabies ]
"Insecticide shots for criminal cops.
All jails are concentration camps.
All judges are bought.
Everyone's a prostitute.
Everyone's a prostitute.
No civil disobedience, no civil disobedience.
So look out kid, you keep it all hid;
You think you're free, but you ain't free...
Just free to be hit.
You're an unchannelled frequency;
Nobody's listening.
Your imbalanced permanent;
Nobody's listening."
-- Exterminator by Primal Scream from XTRMNTR (lyrics by Bobby Gillespie).
What I find humorous and a little pathetic is people announcing every little moment of their lives via Facebook and/or Twitter, the latter being a horrible waste of a website in the first place.
In essence, it's just basically a way of screaming "Look at meeeeeeeeee! Pay attention to meeeeeeeee!"
It's silly, and I've been meaning to say that since Monday.
o.O
Anyway, this Thursday evening finds me somewhat content, but also somewhat concerned. Concerned because my heart seems to be acting strangely, and I've never had heart issues before.
Well, I did once before, back in 2006 when I was eating very little because I couldn't afford to eat much more. At that time, I was getting these heart flutters, palpitations, etc. - I don't know what else to call them. Then I began making more money and eating more, and they eventually went away.
This year, I got them again, after putting myself on a restricted calorie diet. Then I started eating more normally, and they went away, but then during last weekend's Bay Area trip, they came back with a kind of vengeance.
And now they're continuing, and I'm a little worried.
I suppose the thing is that I just need to get back to a normal weight, and I am indeed trying to do that, but it's slow going. For example, at my thinnest this year, I was ten pounds lighter than I am now. But I'm only currently at 157 pounds, and I'm 6'3", so I'm still pretty far underweight.
I think I'm the only person I know who needs to gain weight, but there it is. I also think I should stop with the mezcal so much, especially when I haven't had a lot to eat. Compared to tequila, mezcal is uber-potent, and very ill-refined and modestly distilled, if at all, and I feel it affects me kind like a dull, but very real poison.
I have a little over one bottle left, so I'm eventually going to finish that off, but after that I'm done with the mezcals, I think. And I'm really going to pace myself with this last bottle and a quarter.
In other news, last night I finally finished my Rise Pig Rise jacket, so that's a good weight to have off my shoulders. It's basically my dad's old army field jacket, and I've decorated the hell out of it with certain grim emblems, insignia, and the like. It probably won't get me any pussy anytime soon, but what have I ever done in my life with that as an aim? (Not much.) And anyway, I absolutely love it.
Here's the left lapel of the jacket in its final stages, before the skull caduceus had been filled in...
Also last night, my best friend in San Diego (Marg) came over to hang out, as we do almost every Wednesday night. So we drank and karted it up and much fun was had, though we called it an early night. I was pretty tired, so that was appropriate, but it also left me a little sad, considering how much I had cleaned up for her. (Not that there was much to be done.)
I am, however, excited about tomorrow night's SGSD meetup. I'll be going solo, and probably looking to get laid, so I'm just laying it out here right now -- no secrets. But I'm a good lay, so I'm not ashamed of being so blatant about it.
But hell, what do I care about how bold I am about getting sex on here, anyway? Nobody reads this thing anyway, right?
Oh, also last night, that neighbor cat about whom I've been obsessing - Shear Khan - strayed over to my place again. This time, I was determined to discover his owner, so I put a collar loosely around him, and attached a little note I'd written. I just wrote my first and phone number and a little about how the cat comes over to my place very often. But then, it seemed not even an hour later, Khan returned without the collar (and, of course, without the note).
It couldn't have fallen off - I put it on him quite securely, so I don't really know what happened. I suppose whoever's cat he is just threw off the collar. Maybe they read the note, maybe not, but I've not received a call. (Not that I was expecting to.)
Anyway, here's the little cutie (with collar and note attached) trying to get in through my front window...
And here he is, getting ready to play with one of my cats...
And just for the hell of it, here's a shot of me by the lockers in Disneyland, back in early September of this year - don't ask why I'm never smiling; it's just not something I do all that often...
...Except here -- a far more recent one of me last weekend with a couple of friends up in Berkeley.
[ Now playing on the Severe Trauma Sounds... Gouge Away by The Pixies from Doolittle ]
[ Now playing on the Severe Trauma Sounds... Fascist Jockitch by Skinny Puppy from Rabies ]
"Insecticide shots for criminal cops.
All jails are concentration camps.
All judges are bought.
Everyone's a prostitute.
Everyone's a prostitute.
No civil disobedience, no civil disobedience.
So look out kid, you keep it all hid;
You think you're free, but you ain't free...
Just free to be hit.
You're an unchannelled frequency;
Nobody's listening.
Your imbalanced permanent;
Nobody's listening."
-- Exterminator by Primal Scream from XTRMNTR (lyrics by Bobby Gillespie).
What I find humorous and a little pathetic is people announcing every little moment of their lives via Facebook and/or Twitter, the latter being a horrible waste of a website in the first place.
In essence, it's just basically a way of screaming "Look at meeeeeeeeee! Pay attention to meeeeeeeee!"
It's silly, and I've been meaning to say that since Monday.
o.O
Anyway, this Thursday evening finds me somewhat content, but also somewhat concerned. Concerned because my heart seems to be acting strangely, and I've never had heart issues before.
Well, I did once before, back in 2006 when I was eating very little because I couldn't afford to eat much more. At that time, I was getting these heart flutters, palpitations, etc. - I don't know what else to call them. Then I began making more money and eating more, and they eventually went away.
This year, I got them again, after putting myself on a restricted calorie diet. Then I started eating more normally, and they went away, but then during last weekend's Bay Area trip, they came back with a kind of vengeance.
And now they're continuing, and I'm a little worried.
I suppose the thing is that I just need to get back to a normal weight, and I am indeed trying to do that, but it's slow going. For example, at my thinnest this year, I was ten pounds lighter than I am now. But I'm only currently at 157 pounds, and I'm 6'3", so I'm still pretty far underweight.
I think I'm the only person I know who needs to gain weight, but there it is. I also think I should stop with the mezcal so much, especially when I haven't had a lot to eat. Compared to tequila, mezcal is uber-potent, and very ill-refined and modestly distilled, if at all, and I feel it affects me kind like a dull, but very real poison.
I have a little over one bottle left, so I'm eventually going to finish that off, but after that I'm done with the mezcals, I think. And I'm really going to pace myself with this last bottle and a quarter.
In other news, last night I finally finished my Rise Pig Rise jacket, so that's a good weight to have off my shoulders. It's basically my dad's old army field jacket, and I've decorated the hell out of it with certain grim emblems, insignia, and the like. It probably won't get me any pussy anytime soon, but what have I ever done in my life with that as an aim? (Not much.) And anyway, I absolutely love it.
Here's the left lapel of the jacket in its final stages, before the skull caduceus had been filled in...
Also last night, my best friend in San Diego (Marg) came over to hang out, as we do almost every Wednesday night. So we drank and karted it up and much fun was had, though we called it an early night. I was pretty tired, so that was appropriate, but it also left me a little sad, considering how much I had cleaned up for her. (Not that there was much to be done.)
I am, however, excited about tomorrow night's SGSD meetup. I'll be going solo, and probably looking to get laid, so I'm just laying it out here right now -- no secrets. But I'm a good lay, so I'm not ashamed of being so blatant about it.
But hell, what do I care about how bold I am about getting sex on here, anyway? Nobody reads this thing anyway, right?
Oh, also last night, that neighbor cat about whom I've been obsessing - Shear Khan - strayed over to my place again. This time, I was determined to discover his owner, so I put a collar loosely around him, and attached a little note I'd written. I just wrote my first and phone number and a little about how the cat comes over to my place very often. But then, it seemed not even an hour later, Khan returned without the collar (and, of course, without the note).
It couldn't have fallen off - I put it on him quite securely, so I don't really know what happened. I suppose whoever's cat he is just threw off the collar. Maybe they read the note, maybe not, but I've not received a call. (Not that I was expecting to.)
Anyway, here's the little cutie (with collar and note attached) trying to get in through my front window...
And here he is, getting ready to play with one of my cats...
And just for the hell of it, here's a shot of me by the lockers in Disneyland, back in early September of this year - don't ask why I'm never smiling; it's just not something I do all that often...
...Except here -- a far more recent one of me last weekend with a couple of friends up in Berkeley.
[ Now playing on the Severe Trauma Sounds... Gouge Away by The Pixies from Doolittle ]
On the subject of Pink Floyd again... the drumming from the 3:00 minute mark till the 4:35 mark on the Set the controls video is pretty amazing.
I'll send ya the link to that NIN concert when I wake up.
Lates.