Bensters, no matter what happens, or how it happens I love you, and I don't ever, ever want to see you hurt. Even if you don't think you're being hurt.
Seeing suffering from a distance is enough to tear my heart out. There's a pain that only an older sister can feel, someone who is bound to you by the chains of fate and the accident of birth.
This, in this lifetime, makes us closer than most people will ever be. And I love you.
Anyone who hurts you, with meaning or without meaning will answer to me. Anyone who pulls you down the wrong path, likewise. Even if it's yourself I have to protect you from, I will do so, because I love you.
Please listen to me, listen to this if you don't hear anything else I say tonight. I've been in tears over these things, and for the first time in my life I have felt a cold blind rage and I can understand how it can be possible for someone to take the life of another human being.
You falter. I suffer. You sag. I yell out in pain. Even if stand, nailed to your cross totally oblivious of the situation you are in, or what is going on around you, seeing you in a situation ripe for suffering has me crying out in grief, my screams rending the heavens in twain.
I am afraid.
Because if anything were to happen to you I would loose my best friend, a light in my life, my dear, dear little sister.
Please, please listen to me, if just a little. What you think is not hurting you, it is. Those you think are not hurting you, are.
I never wanted you to be normal, or for you to wander blindly into danger. I only wanted you to be you and smile, your hazel eyes dancing in the light.
Because when we are together, and you smile, somehow, the world is perfect.
When we are together and you laugh, everything around you is infused with life. All I ever wanted, was for you to be you.
Did you know, that the first time you dyed your hair, I cried? I missed the honey-brown it was, and haven't seen in years. Even though a part of me always felt you were better than me, smarter than me, prettier than me, I've faced one undying truth. That, without you, I couldn't survive.
Benni, I love you so much. I wish you would listen to what I have to say, and not keep repeating "I'm fine, I'm fine" like a mantra shield.
In a thousand possibilities, a thousand lifetimes, this is not what I pictured ever happening. That part in you that is suffering, shouldn't have to suffer alone.
I'm here.
I'm here.
I'm your Sister. Please. Just listen. Even if it's just to the sound of my tears.
So much may change between us. As strange as my wedding is to me, it must be doubly so to you. For the longest time, all we really had was each other. We are each the other's confidant. You know things about me that even my fiancee does not know.
Even after I marry him, this will still be true. There is a part of me, that only you have seen. I knew you before you were born, and to each other we have bared our souls. I will let nothing hurt you. Nothing.
If this gets through to you at all, please let me know. All I want is for you to listen, and to think. Some things, once touched, forever burn. Some things, shrugged off and ignored, become the bane of our existence.
I'm here for you.
Please listen.
Because I love you.
Seeing suffering from a distance is enough to tear my heart out. There's a pain that only an older sister can feel, someone who is bound to you by the chains of fate and the accident of birth.
This, in this lifetime, makes us closer than most people will ever be. And I love you.
Anyone who hurts you, with meaning or without meaning will answer to me. Anyone who pulls you down the wrong path, likewise. Even if it's yourself I have to protect you from, I will do so, because I love you.
Please listen to me, listen to this if you don't hear anything else I say tonight. I've been in tears over these things, and for the first time in my life I have felt a cold blind rage and I can understand how it can be possible for someone to take the life of another human being.
You falter. I suffer. You sag. I yell out in pain. Even if stand, nailed to your cross totally oblivious of the situation you are in, or what is going on around you, seeing you in a situation ripe for suffering has me crying out in grief, my screams rending the heavens in twain.
I am afraid.
Because if anything were to happen to you I would loose my best friend, a light in my life, my dear, dear little sister.
Please, please listen to me, if just a little. What you think is not hurting you, it is. Those you think are not hurting you, are.
I never wanted you to be normal, or for you to wander blindly into danger. I only wanted you to be you and smile, your hazel eyes dancing in the light.
Because when we are together, and you smile, somehow, the world is perfect.
When we are together and you laugh, everything around you is infused with life. All I ever wanted, was for you to be you.
Did you know, that the first time you dyed your hair, I cried? I missed the honey-brown it was, and haven't seen in years. Even though a part of me always felt you were better than me, smarter than me, prettier than me, I've faced one undying truth. That, without you, I couldn't survive.
Benni, I love you so much. I wish you would listen to what I have to say, and not keep repeating "I'm fine, I'm fine" like a mantra shield.
In a thousand possibilities, a thousand lifetimes, this is not what I pictured ever happening. That part in you that is suffering, shouldn't have to suffer alone.
I'm here.
I'm here.
I'm your Sister. Please. Just listen. Even if it's just to the sound of my tears.
So much may change between us. As strange as my wedding is to me, it must be doubly so to you. For the longest time, all we really had was each other. We are each the other's confidant. You know things about me that even my fiancee does not know.
Even after I marry him, this will still be true. There is a part of me, that only you have seen. I knew you before you were born, and to each other we have bared our souls. I will let nothing hurt you. Nothing.
If this gets through to you at all, please let me know. All I want is for you to listen, and to think. Some things, once touched, forever burn. Some things, shrugged off and ignored, become the bane of our existence.
I'm here for you.
Please listen.
Because I love you.
i love you too.
fucker.
swear, ill be okay.
I'm glad that you care about the Benmeister as much as you do. I'm also glad that it looks like she may actually listen to you. I know she and I don't really know each other very well so she can easily ignore my wisdom. Sounds like what you've said is what I would have liked to tell her.
Coming from you means a hella lot more too.