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selfcontaining

you wouldn't know it

Member Since 2003

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Wednesday Apr 06, 2005

Apr 6, 2005
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Road trip! This Sunday!
A long drive from Seattle to New York.
Driving there and flying back on the 19th.
Just the two of us. She will stay and I will return to Seattle.
Still trying to decide how I feel about her staying.

Fucking doctors. After seeing 8 of them I finally received an answer. I am now officially diagnosed with the rare Perifolliculitis Capitis Abscendens et Suffodiens. And wouldn't you know it... no fucking cure known to man. Wonderful. Just fucking peachy. The doctor wants to try this steroid type therapy for it. Absolutely fucking... I don't know.
I think I've thought about it too much over the past two months and at this point I'm just trying to forget about it.
Just fucking pisses me off to the point where I lock myself in my room for days and days to lose myself in the bottle.
Probably the last thing I should be doing. Fucking christ. So fucking pissed about it. Nothing quite like having absolutely no control over something that is... FUCK!!!
I have been so depressed about it and about 10 other things happening that I just don't answer the phone anymore.
I have a hard enough time talking to people as it is... now I'm just doing anything in my power to avoid any human contact at all. I don't sleep. I don't eat. All I do is drink. Booze and then coffee to prepare myself for work. I'm starting to wonder how long it will take for them to fire my ass.
I've got to snap out of this rut.
I realize that I need to buck up and just fucking deal but it's dragged me down low real fucking low.
I have not been this low for years. Long enough to have forgotten how good it feels after you cry your guts out for hours. The worst part about the whole fucking thing is I've finally come to grips with her moving to NY.
And for some reason 3 women decide all at once that they want to get to know me better. I'm having a hard time with my day to day shit and now I have 3 women calling, emailing and wanting to constantly hang out.
I'm fucking rambling now. Blah blah blah.
What I need is a good old fashioned ass kicking. Someone needs to beat some sense into me.
Fuck it. I'm going bowling.
cherry_deadly:
enjoy the road trip sugar kiss
Apr 8, 2005

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