10 random facts about Mr. T:
Mr. T once pitied a fool so much that the fool melted into a puddle of shame. Mr. T then pitied the fool dry.
Had Charles Darwin known about Mr. T, his saying, "The survival of the fittest," would have changed to, "We're all screwed in the presence of Mr. T."
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Mr. T's gold necklaces are not jewlry; they are produced naturally by his body when he pities someone, much like an oyster produces a pearl when sand grains enter their shell.
In the unlikely event that Mr. T ever pitied himself, the universe would immediately reboot to 1982.
Mr. T is actually responsible for the Internet. He pittied a calculator into developing Internet capability one day when no phone was handy.
When God said, "Let there be light," Mr. T could have said no.
On 27 February 1991, the largest tank battle in American history was faught at Medina Ridge. What history will not tell you though is that Mr. T was the only person the Americans had fighting that day. He single handedly destroyed 186 tanks and 127 armored vehicles by tearing a hole in the side of their armor with his bare hands and then yelling "Gotcha Sucka!" at the sodiers. Their chests instantaneously exploded upon hearing this.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Like the President and the Vice President, Mr. T and Chuck Norris are never in the same place at the same time. This too is to ensure the saftey of the country. It is also said that if they were to ever look into each other's eyes, the planet would melt.
...and now 10 random facts about Chuck Norris:
Mr. T survived a roundhouse kick to the face from Chuck Norris. He was the first and only one to do so.
On the 6th day, God created Chuck Norris. On the 7th day, God rested. On the 8th day, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked God and took over.
Ever heard of the saying, "you can't squeeze blood from a stone?" Chuck Norris hasn't. There's a reason for that.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris was dropped at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Dinasaurs are extinct because Chuck Norris grew tired of their shit.
The Grand Canyon is the result of Chuck Norris' temper tantrum after he lost the election. His platform was, "I'm against abortion, but for killing babies."
Chuck Norris appeared in an uncredited role in the film Bambi. He was the hunter who killed Bambi's mom. He originally wanted to kill her with a roundhouse kick to the face, but the director changed it to a gunshot, and Chuck refused to have his name associated with the movie. Thus losing his best shot at an Oscar.
Chuck Norris eats babies and shits Delta Force team members.
Steven Segal is Chuck Norris’ bitch. When Chuck Norris is hungry, he says, "Bitch, make me a sandwich." Steven Segal would then make a sandwich.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
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