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secondbest

New York

Member Since 2003

Followers 28 Following 31

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Saturday Apr 03, 2004

Apr 2, 2004
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What the fuck is wrong with me?
I think I have this magic power to fail. I can not win the affection of any girl who I think could ever bring some sense of joy to my life. I cant get anyone to hire me. Is this some cosmic way for the universe to tell me I dont belong? That I, as member of this world in this time frame, wasnt meant to be. That my only purpose in life was to bare witness to the suffering and joy of others.

Why I am not some kid who lives in Iowa who says gee lets make a movie and comes to New York and everyone eats it up. It is extremely hard to things done when your have been a local all your life. Everyone takes you for granted.

Everyone says it is my attitude. That I set myself up for failure. Well I guess after missing out on so much and just plan fucking up you dont know how to function as well as you use to.

And I hate to be fake. And do the whole smiles and lie about how life is going to anyone who asks. So I dont and I always get in trouble because of it. People cant handle hearing the truth. I dont always want or even feel I have to put a positive spin on life. I might not be dying of cancer or have had my arm blown off by a land mine, but that doesnt mean I shouldnt be angry because Im not fucking someone or cant get a story published.


So far no job...No sense of feeling good...no bed...and no heat...
It could be worse... I could still have hope.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
thelibra:
*points up*

What freyja said.
Apr 6, 2004
legionnaire:
That movie was pretty cool, huh? I was really glad that I found it.

And yep, Freyja is right. It's all about attitude. Girls want a guy with confidence, who they can be proud to be around. Even if they aren't millionnaires or rock stars or whatever.

My advice is, if you're talking to a girl you're interested in - focus on something you're good at, and think about it. Don't think about the fact that you aren't employed or whatever, pick whatever you do well and talk about it, and it'll come through in the conversation.
Apr 8, 2004

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