So, I'm sitting here pondering the various ways to accomplish certain things and realize exactly how disappointed I am with my life.
College dropout. Can't use fine motor movement in hand without excruciating pain. Okay, somewhat understandable.
Can barely afford to get by day to day. Literally scraping by. I have zero motivation to even do anything about it.
Excluding my annoyingly social job, I don't really spend time with people. My only friend within 500 miles came in the other day though to say hi. It was nice.
And there is more.
But the worst part is. How little I actually care. Which is zero. I don't. I don't care. That's the worst part. As I type this there is no actual emotion to any of it. It's all based on calculated and expected concepts based on how I perceive a practical functioning mind should feel towards such a situation.
Zero... 100% of nothing. Why is this.
I feel emotion. The best I can understand is I suppress it so much I can't functionally acknowledge it. Perhaps it's because I don't perceive emotions to be a beneficial part of life. Or maybe I'm damaged. But who isn't these days.
Anyways. good things.
Hookah, Redbull, cookies, warm blankets, raspberries, music, buffalo chili, fallout 4 (rather addicted to as of late), building highly complex integrated data tracking in an excel document while having no actual understanding of the mathematics behind any of it (and yet it still makes perfect sense to me). That last one is my favorite for some reason.
Now on to airplanes.
They fly.
Have a great day everyone!