scoots

i walked the streets of long beach today, looking for something, not sure what. but i dont think it was looking for me.

found a nice record store, the kind without too many windows where i easily forget where i am and fall back in time seeing bands from my past. i get tranported to the times when i heard them. the album covers trigger specific memories of time and place.

i walk some more and wonder how i ended up here, do these people look at me different, do i look like im out of place like a new kid at a new school.

eating out alone, walking alone, exploring alone, drinking alone at the bar. i guess i should be used to it at this stage in my life, but now its in unfamiliar territory. i dont see the same faces that i could count on back home, even if i didnt know them, i felt like i did. it made me feel comfort and familiar.

i know the newness will fade, and connections will be made with real people. but the transition period is hard to brush off so easily. did i do the right thing? will it ever be what i hope it will? will i ever feel the comfort i once did?

at least there is beer in the fridge and a full pack of smokes on the table.

tomorrow is another day