scoots

came as close as ever to witnessing a childbirth last night - my sis was popping out her 4th (she's only 26) and its all so casual now - i was outside the room with my dad talking about furnices, sipping on instant beef broth and listening to her moan in the room.

my bro in law walks out and into their room to get on his swim trunks - shes doing the under water thing - and a few minutes after the birth she screemed for me to come in - as shes holding her little boy - her husband doing laps in the afterbirth - tears and smiles all around.

i guess i never really thought much about how powerful a moment that is until now

i reflected on the way home how happy my sis was to add another to her clan and couldn't help but think about my own isolation - the kind of lonliness that is personified times 10 when the weather is below 0. until i snapped out of as the car ahead noticed traffic slowing too late, slammed on the brakes doing about 50 swirved from the center lane to the left, back to the center just about the hit the car it almost rearended, then swearved away again right into the center median as the back wheels went up in the air then got tossed back into the center lane 10 feet infront of me

i stayed with them as i called 911 - helped them to the side of I94 at 10pm in subzero temps.

i decided i earned a drink on that night and went to the bar alone - just happy to be alive.

thats too many emotions for me in one night