Sometimes I think it was the way I was brought up, but I honestly don't believe that I can be happy. It's come to the point where I wonder if I could really benefit from getting help. I have a lot in life, a true love, money, roof over my head, two loving cats. When I think about it I really don't have a reason to be UNhappy... But what is happiness? I feel like it would be listening to your favorite song while doing something you really enjoy. Whether it be sitting in the sun enjoying life, going for a walk, playing your favorite video game, or even snuggling your significant other at night. I know what happiness feels like. I've been there, I've had my few moments where I wouldn't change a thing. I always feel as though there' s a mental block there- maybe I just overthink too much (such a virgo- I know). I have so much to be happy about. But I just mentally can't focus on the good sometimes. I didn't have the best childhood, a lot of pain and rejection. I've always been pretty anti-social, and I have major anxiety that people just don't like me. I find that people are always chosen first before me. Even my childhood friends would chose hanging out with my sister instead of me. It continued on with men in highschool, men never wanted me (thank god, not a bad thing). Although it did hurt at the time because I just assumed I wasn't good enough. I have major insecurities, about how I look and how I act. It's really hard for me to be social because I just don't know what to say or how to talk to people normally. I think I'm kinda weird and obnoxious sometimes, and that turns people away from me. Maybe deep down I just like to be alone anyways...
