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sapient_fool

the Astral Plain

Member Since 2004

Followers 6 Following 12

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Monday Apr 25, 2005

Apr 25, 2005
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Self-imposed isolation. It starts out in the mind. We introvert. We decide that we are going to be this way. We separate ourselves from all that we know is proper for us. We search. We look within for some answers when they dont seem to come from all we know and love. We cry for companionship, yet we stand against it. Repelling it, actually. We know that if we commit to an idea or a person, that we will ultimately be judged by that ideal or person. Its the judgement that we run from. We hide. We ignore. We run from those who love us most. We stand alone against our thoughts. Thoughts so self-deprecating and full of despair that we cant face them. Its the uncertainty that we forebode. We hide in our work. We hide in our bed. We hide in plain site where all those who know us not, can fully see us and ignore. Just the way we want it.
What we dont see is that we are not alone. If isolation is our goal, its unattainable. We isolate from all we know. We cant see that others are isolating themselves too. Dont we understand? If everyones doing it, nobodys doing it! If every twenty-two year old who is feeling the pains of self-evaluation could for a moment realize that every thirty year old and every forty year old and every fifty year old has been through this same ordeal at that same point in their lives. And lived through it. Were as sad or happy as we want to be. We get to decide. Our biggest decisions of the day arent which pair of kickin new boots well wear today. Or what tunes I need to get for the iPod. No, the real choices are about what our future will look like. Where will we be when we realize that we made it through those hard times. When we can finally look back we may be better able to see the road ahead of us. We dont know where were going, but we know who we are.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
thejuanupsman:
I only try to isolate to dispel the illusions. So I can see more clearly. Sometimes other perspectives and other people's expectations seem to just get in the way.

Then again, as is so often the case lately, I am drunk, and probably don't really know what the hell I am talking about.
May 5, 2005
comicking:
I must be extroverting, maybe that's my problem...
May 5, 2005

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