Self-imposed isolation. It starts out in the mind. We introvert. We decide that we are going to be this way. We separate ourselves from all that we know is proper for us. We search. We look within for some answers when they dont seem to come from all we know and love. We cry for companionship, yet we stand against it. Repelling it, actually. We know that if we commit to an idea or a person, that we will ultimately be judged by that ideal or person. Its the judgement that we run from. We hide. We ignore. We run from those who love us most. We stand alone against our thoughts. Thoughts so self-deprecating and full of despair that we cant face them. Its the uncertainty that we forebode. We hide in our work. We hide in our bed. We hide in plain site where all those who know us not, can fully see us and ignore. Just the way we want it.
What we dont see is that we are not alone. If isolation is our goal, its unattainable. We isolate from all we know. We cant see that others are isolating themselves too. Dont we understand? If everyones doing it, nobodys doing it! If every twenty-two year old who is feeling the pains of self-evaluation could for a moment realize that every thirty year old and every forty year old and every fifty year old has been through this same ordeal at that same point in their lives. And lived through it. Were as sad or happy as we want to be. We get to decide. Our biggest decisions of the day arent which pair of kickin new boots well wear today. Or what tunes I need to get for the iPod. No, the real choices are about what our future will look like. Where will we be when we realize that we made it through those hard times. When we can finally look back we may be better able to see the road ahead of us. We dont know where were going, but we know who we are.