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saoirsemckenna

Boulder

Member Since 2012

Followers 88 Following 154

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Sunday Aug 26, 2012

Aug 26, 2012
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I tell Paul not to teach our daughter to abuse me after he encourages some bad behavior and he says "oh she'll just end up doing it on her own". Not happy with him right now. I am not going to have this parenting bullshit with him am I? I mean he's not even in the same country as me and he's promoting her hurting me. I know she's too little to understand it entirely but I am not going to let it go when it can be habit forming.

She doesn't mean to hurt me, she's only a baby, but when she scratches me or bites me and he says "good girl" I can't help but think he's helping instill this as a good behavior in her.

He's coming her in November and I want to feel good about this because he is a pretty good father to her and I'm happy to have him around if he's going to be helping out and giving her parental love, but is this something I'm going to have to worry about? I fucking hope not. He seems like a push over about a lot of things but he's really insistent that we should get married and really pushing me that we need to be together for her sake. I mean I have told him that I don't think we get along well but I still want him to be around as a father, but not like, with me. But he refuses to believe that's it's better to be apart than married and fighting. Actually he doesn't think we fight. And maybe that's because I've sort of given up because I don't want to always be fighting with him and I also just don't have the energy since I am a single mom (well I mean living on my own with my baby and no support from him except when he wastes my time by skyping and watching television while I try to get him to pay attention to our daughter). I don't want to use our baby as a bargaining chip because she doesn't deserve that but I don't want him filling her head with abusive ideas towards me.

I really want him to take a women's studies class, or something so he can actually take a look at how he treats me, since he acts like an old school East London, Sexist thug. Fucking hell. It's not the fucking 50's. He can't just treat me mean and expect me to want to stick around. It's like he insults me and then says he loves me. Well fuck that!

I wish I had had a baby with someone who could at least help out somewhat instead of just taking up my time when I'm busy to bitch about my football team because he's likes winding me up. I wouldn't even care about that if he was nice all the other times but it's just too much when you put it all together. I don't even give a shit about my team like he does, but when it's a part of all the other verbal abuse I just get fed up.

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