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saoirsemckenna

Boulder

Member Since 2012

Followers 88 Following 154

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Saturday Jul 28, 2012

Jul 28, 2012
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I hate when girls do this to themselves but right now I'm obsessing over every little bit of my body and trying to convince myself I'm just horribly hideous. I don't know why we have this thing, at least where I live, that makes us want to hate ourselves. I mean I don't but I remember in high school if you didn't hate yourself people who be extra harsh on you and think you were super full of yourself and call you ugly. It is a really fucked up thing that women have to go through. I wish, on this site even, that there were more plus size models. I don't think it's healthy to be overweight, but what's overweight for people isn't what's fat in other people's minds. Some women can be extremely healthy and have a big butt or big breasts and they are not overweight for their own bodies. I of course would like to lose weight, but for health reasons. My mother had diabetes and I fear that I could get it if I don't get healthier.

I do eat fairly healthy. I am a vegan, I try to make sure I have grains, protein and vegetation in every meal. I try to use a minimal amount of oil and when I do use oil I try to use only extra virgin olive oil or another healthy organic oil. I eat all organic. I'm not going to get into my political beliefs on the subject right now but let's just say even if I didn't think they were healthier and tastier I would do it for my politics and moral beliefs anyway. I don't exercise enough, partially because I'm a single mom and I don't have the time, but also because I've suffered from depression stemming from a lot of trauma in my past and a lot of PTSD. So I have had a hard time losing weight after my pregnancy although I am working on it.

So basically I would like to lose weight but I don't want to be obsessed with being "skinny" or a certain body type that isn't really me. I just want to be healthy and love myself. The biggest thing is I want to be happy with myself regardless of whether I'm overweight or not. I don't want my weight loss to be connected to my level of happiness. I should be able to be happy even if there are some things I'm working on.

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