sammy1

old pictures and sentimental moments on a cold dark wintery day....

sometimes i miss not having pictures...

i think sometimes i miss not having anything...

its sad when you know you are falling, when you can feel it in those deep parts of your mind that you thought were gone, or just well managed.

time now is something i have alot of, and its begingin to chip away at things....

even when i had less time to think, i still worried about things, were my life was, were it was going, were it hadnt been, but they just didnt have an impact that was measurable.

finally bought my own place, small, but mine, working, making good money, still goofing up and scraping by most weeks, but making it. maybe i just didnt have time to think about my direction....

now,,, its all i think about.

direction... life.... were is it going? were should i be?

not to ask the stupidest question of all (and beleive it or not, i am totally sober and straight)..... but...

why am i here?

what have i done to leave an impression on the world?

what am i going to do?

silly questions, but i feel like i am missing something somewhere, something i should have done.

i feel old.

tired.

and useless.

i need something, a beacon, a guide, an epiphany (sp), a direction, a want, a desire, a passion.

"Still falling
Breathless and on again
Inside today
Beside me today
Around broken in two
'Till you eyes shed
Into dust
Like two strangers
Turning into dust
'Till my hand shook with the way I fear

I could possibly be fading
Or have something more to gain
I could feel myself growing colder
I could feel myself under your fate
Under your fate

It was you breathless and tall
I could feel my eyes turning into dust
And two strangers turning into dust
Turning into dust"