samling

*sigh*

never a friend in sight,
when the tears that are cried are mine.


i don't know if anyone is gonna read this, or even give a shit, but i'm having a bad fucking life.

now i understand why people kill themselves. they go insane and realize it's very hard to live here.

it is.

and i'm so tired of the very few times i've needed anybody, like, actually tried to reach out for someone because i know i am no longer among the sane....


i just want to takl to someone right now because i am not handling some news i got very well. that's all.

so that's it. i'm fucking shutting people off. all they want is to use me for selfish reasons anyway. i don't care if i date, if i have friends, nothing. i don't even care about my parents, whom i love, but they treat me like a yo-yo. they love me one second, they bounce me down the line the next. i am so confused and upset, and angry and just plain, well...i just know it hurts.

and i'm sooooo tired. if you've ever known what it's like to only sleep 4 hours a night and this be continuous for 4 months....unless i take pills, and i hate doing that. and i work 10 hour days. and everything else.

i don't have a god damn nice thing to say. if you don't like it, fuck you. i don't really care.

i've really had it. hell, for me to put it in writing is bad enough. i must really be pissed off or something.