I've been in therapy for awhile and I've learned a few things. One of the most important things I've learned is to blame all of your shortcomings and problems on your family and friends. Once you learn to blame all of your problems on others, you start to feel much better about yourself.
After you reach the place where you can finally blame others, you can then learn to forgive them. Once you learn to forgive them for how miserable they've made your life, you feel an incredible sense of superiority.
Now that I finally feel far superior to everyone I know, I spend a lot of time joking with my therapist. I'll say things to my therapist like, "Do you know what so and so said to Me? They this and that and the other." She'll then say, "No they didn't." I'll then say, "Yes, they did! Can you believe that?" We then have a nice laugh.
I'll then say to her, "Now that I know how superior I am, do I really need to keep coming to therapy?" Whenever I say this, she usually looks at her check book and tells me that I can become so much more and that we still have a lot of work to do and asks if my insurance is still good.
After about 15 years of therapy, I expect that I'll soon obtain a god like status where random strangers will kneel before me to kiss my hands. Since I'm expecting this to happen soon, I've recently purchased a white suit. The thing that really bothers me though, is if I should buy white shoes to match or if there is any other color of shoe that would go well. Ever since I saw National Lampoons "Vacation" I've never been big on the white shoe.
Now that I think about it, the anxiety being caused by the shoe problem may set me back a few years. Maybe I bought the white suit a little prematurely. This really sucks. Oh well, at least I have something to discuss with my therapist next week.
After you reach the place where you can finally blame others, you can then learn to forgive them. Once you learn to forgive them for how miserable they've made your life, you feel an incredible sense of superiority.
Now that I finally feel far superior to everyone I know, I spend a lot of time joking with my therapist. I'll say things to my therapist like, "Do you know what so and so said to Me? They this and that and the other." She'll then say, "No they didn't." I'll then say, "Yes, they did! Can you believe that?" We then have a nice laugh.
I'll then say to her, "Now that I know how superior I am, do I really need to keep coming to therapy?" Whenever I say this, she usually looks at her check book and tells me that I can become so much more and that we still have a lot of work to do and asks if my insurance is still good.
After about 15 years of therapy, I expect that I'll soon obtain a god like status where random strangers will kneel before me to kiss my hands. Since I'm expecting this to happen soon, I've recently purchased a white suit. The thing that really bothers me though, is if I should buy white shoes to match or if there is any other color of shoe that would go well. Ever since I saw National Lampoons "Vacation" I've never been big on the white shoe.
Now that I think about it, the anxiety being caused by the shoe problem may set me back a few years. Maybe I bought the white suit a little prematurely. This really sucks. Oh well, at least I have something to discuss with my therapist next week.
viking:
My guardian is a therapist. He didn't even get the therapy degree. If he can do it, anyone can.