I play drums in a punk band, early 90's pop punk, ala Jawbreaker style. We've also been discussing doing a mid 90's influenced indie band with both of us on guitar. Anyway
I was talking to Ryan about how I've been writing a ridiculous amount of music lately, and intend on doing an acoustic demo of my alt-country folk whatever stuff soon. He said he had a huge writers block, and I mentioned how I'd been on one for about two years but now I couldn't hardly stop and he said "awesome man"
I responded with something like "yeah it's cool"
But what I really wanted to say was "It's really not that awesome, I'm good at writing. I do it well. I write sad stories like no other. I really wish I was good at something else though."
And I do. I wish that I wasn't so good at tragedy. It's come to a point where I thrive on tragedy now, I need it to write. And I am reminded of what this cute 15 year old girl said to me years ago (She was 15 years ago, she's probably 22 or 23 now)
She said "Do you just keep getting into bad relationships so you can write songs?"
At the time I was like, no... but I think at the time I was doing that. And it's become so second nature to me to seek out bad relationships that I don't know any better any more. I've said it myself, if it makes a good story it was worth going through. I think I'm still stuck in the fairy tale idea that somewhere out there is some princess waiting for me to save her or something yet I love strong independent women who don't want to be "saved" so whenever I try to save them, they just get pissed off at me. And it makes for great stories. And as long as it does that, it works. And the ones that do accept me saving them are boring and I lose interest. I need someone who will degrade me but still be there when I need them. If that makes sense. Someone who will call me out on my bullshit, but I dunno... I'm not even sure I'm making sense to myself...
I was talking to Ryan about how I've been writing a ridiculous amount of music lately, and intend on doing an acoustic demo of my alt-country folk whatever stuff soon. He said he had a huge writers block, and I mentioned how I'd been on one for about two years but now I couldn't hardly stop and he said "awesome man"
I responded with something like "yeah it's cool"
But what I really wanted to say was "It's really not that awesome, I'm good at writing. I do it well. I write sad stories like no other. I really wish I was good at something else though."
And I do. I wish that I wasn't so good at tragedy. It's come to a point where I thrive on tragedy now, I need it to write. And I am reminded of what this cute 15 year old girl said to me years ago (She was 15 years ago, she's probably 22 or 23 now)
She said "Do you just keep getting into bad relationships so you can write songs?"
At the time I was like, no... but I think at the time I was doing that. And it's become so second nature to me to seek out bad relationships that I don't know any better any more. I've said it myself, if it makes a good story it was worth going through. I think I'm still stuck in the fairy tale idea that somewhere out there is some princess waiting for me to save her or something yet I love strong independent women who don't want to be "saved" so whenever I try to save them, they just get pissed off at me. And it makes for great stories. And as long as it does that, it works. And the ones that do accept me saving them are boring and I lose interest. I need someone who will degrade me but still be there when I need them. If that makes sense. Someone who will call me out on my bullshit, but I dunno... I'm not even sure I'm making sense to myself...