So for all that are reading my blog, Writing is my hobby and my outlet. Whether it be poetry or erotic fiction I am much better at writing out my thoughts and feelings in some abstract ot artistic way. You guys lately are sort of seeing an experiment on my part. I have't had time lately to write any sort of stories and the words aren't coming when I try to write poetry. This blog is sort of becoming my outlet so if you want to get to know me in all my oddities and intricasies stay tuned. My hopes in this endeavor are to 1. get a little better at talking about my feeling rather than holding them all in and 2. maybe make some new connections and meet new people along the way.
My biggest fear is lonliness, for that matter I think it is my only fear. I have no phobias of spiders, snakes, clowns etc. I am completely ok with the idea of death. Granted I don't want it now, but I have accept that it is a part of life and if now is the time, I am happy for the life I have had but that is a different topic all together. My fear of being alone isn't just on the level of have my soulmate or that perfect woman for me. I am a very social person. I am a social vampire or empath if you will. I thrive on interaction with other people. The mood of the people around me has a huge impact on my mood and if someone has a problem then it becomes mine as well. I am in Iraq now which isn't nearly as bad as you may think. The problem I have is the sense of isolation I feel. I work long hours and although I am around people, the work load prevents any real interaction. When I am off, I am pretty much alone. My roommate works the opposite schedule as I and although he and I are good friends we never see each other. That leaves me to sit in my room in silence or go to the gym, food court or what have you alone. My other problem here is simple. I prefer the company of women for a lot of reasons and well, I just have none at the moment. I am not a stereotypical guy in the sense that I have a much more emotional side than most guys have or show. I like to watch my favorite teams play but I have no interest in talking about sports and definitely don't want any part of the macho BS of who is stronger, tougher, who can beat up who or the other my dick is bigger than yours BS. Don't get me wrong I am not feminine, I just have no need to play those BS games to determine who the alpha male is in the group. I would rather talk to women who can understand or relate to the thoughts opinions or feelings that I have. I love dating but I am not into the head games. I am more into the process of getting to know someone and being able to talk or relate on a more sensitive level. If there hapens to be some romance involved that is great. The thing is right now, I have none of that. I miss being able to talk to people and interact. I miss the feelings and emotions that inevitably come with it. I miss the tingle of the first kiss, and the flutter in your stomach when you really connect to someone. I love the feeling of a woman in my arms and the scent of her hair, but most of all I just miss the company. Friends of lovers isn't so important for the time being. So there you have it I guess. The inner me that I inevitably wear on my sleeve. I think a friend of mine described me best when she said I was like a burnt chicken nugget. Hard and crunchy exterior but all mushy on the inside. I suppose that may be the curse of a hopeless romantic and a social empath.
My biggest fear is lonliness, for that matter I think it is my only fear. I have no phobias of spiders, snakes, clowns etc. I am completely ok with the idea of death. Granted I don't want it now, but I have accept that it is a part of life and if now is the time, I am happy for the life I have had but that is a different topic all together. My fear of being alone isn't just on the level of have my soulmate or that perfect woman for me. I am a very social person. I am a social vampire or empath if you will. I thrive on interaction with other people. The mood of the people around me has a huge impact on my mood and if someone has a problem then it becomes mine as well. I am in Iraq now which isn't nearly as bad as you may think. The problem I have is the sense of isolation I feel. I work long hours and although I am around people, the work load prevents any real interaction. When I am off, I am pretty much alone. My roommate works the opposite schedule as I and although he and I are good friends we never see each other. That leaves me to sit in my room in silence or go to the gym, food court or what have you alone. My other problem here is simple. I prefer the company of women for a lot of reasons and well, I just have none at the moment. I am not a stereotypical guy in the sense that I have a much more emotional side than most guys have or show. I like to watch my favorite teams play but I have no interest in talking about sports and definitely don't want any part of the macho BS of who is stronger, tougher, who can beat up who or the other my dick is bigger than yours BS. Don't get me wrong I am not feminine, I just have no need to play those BS games to determine who the alpha male is in the group. I would rather talk to women who can understand or relate to the thoughts opinions or feelings that I have. I love dating but I am not into the head games. I am more into the process of getting to know someone and being able to talk or relate on a more sensitive level. If there hapens to be some romance involved that is great. The thing is right now, I have none of that. I miss being able to talk to people and interact. I miss the feelings and emotions that inevitably come with it. I miss the tingle of the first kiss, and the flutter in your stomach when you really connect to someone. I love the feeling of a woman in my arms and the scent of her hair, but most of all I just miss the company. Friends of lovers isn't so important for the time being. So there you have it I guess. The inner me that I inevitably wear on my sleeve. I think a friend of mine described me best when she said I was like a burnt chicken nugget. Hard and crunchy exterior but all mushy on the inside. I suppose that may be the curse of a hopeless romantic and a social empath.
And I've come across a lot of stupid