EDIT:::
How.. please tell me how, someone so strong can get so hurt?... I know what my life is waiting for and I am being the most patient.. impatient person that I can be. (I CANT SPELL FUCK OFF). I learned this past March one of the reasons I am here.. in this life and world. But how long must I wait?.. and am I allowed to have comfort and contentment while I wait? Taking human emotion into my own hands as if its a "past-time"? Not a game, but a sincere place holder in life untill that one day in the future that I long for so? Can you tell me what does one do when crossed with stars and reality?.. with dreams and the future untold?
What do you do.. when you know the love of your life is so far away.. and so long from being 1 together? What if it is all a dream? My faith in what I have left.. what I have to give.. passion and wonders to exude. This person that longs to be.. just be in its most simple form.
If this is a farse that my own being has made up to convince me in my life that all is well, beautiful and good. WHat if it is just me telling myself this to be relieved from the everyday falice of life? Is that what we all do? Or do you believe that this life is meant to be lived, to be embrassed, tortured and fulfilled?
I just cant stand having to be the strong one anymore.. if I wasnt I wouldnt be me.. But I just want to mealt away and sway with the curves of my river of time. I want to be saved. But its only I who can. And from what. I dont know. I cant torture another humans heart to fulfill the time I have left till my day I long for comes. But what if it never comes.. these are the things my mind swells with.. Do I stay alone.. mentally not being able to let the chances in.. or do I try.. try to let my dreams go a little bit "just in case"?.. I dont want to let go.. what I wait for is what we all wait for.. Ive been waiting for him all of my hearts lives.. do I still have to be as strong.. do i?
PS- You WILL be there
How.. please tell me how, someone so strong can get so hurt?... I know what my life is waiting for and I am being the most patient.. impatient person that I can be. (I CANT SPELL FUCK OFF). I learned this past March one of the reasons I am here.. in this life and world. But how long must I wait?.. and am I allowed to have comfort and contentment while I wait? Taking human emotion into my own hands as if its a "past-time"? Not a game, but a sincere place holder in life untill that one day in the future that I long for so? Can you tell me what does one do when crossed with stars and reality?.. with dreams and the future untold?
What do you do.. when you know the love of your life is so far away.. and so long from being 1 together? What if it is all a dream? My faith in what I have left.. what I have to give.. passion and wonders to exude. This person that longs to be.. just be in its most simple form.
If this is a farse that my own being has made up to convince me in my life that all is well, beautiful and good. WHat if it is just me telling myself this to be relieved from the everyday falice of life? Is that what we all do? Or do you believe that this life is meant to be lived, to be embrassed, tortured and fulfilled?
I just cant stand having to be the strong one anymore.. if I wasnt I wouldnt be me.. But I just want to mealt away and sway with the curves of my river of time. I want to be saved. But its only I who can. And from what. I dont know. I cant torture another humans heart to fulfill the time I have left till my day I long for comes. But what if it never comes.. these are the things my mind swells with.. Do I stay alone.. mentally not being able to let the chances in.. or do I try.. try to let my dreams go a little bit "just in case"?.. I dont want to let go.. what I wait for is what we all wait for.. Ive been waiting for him all of my hearts lives.. do I still have to be as strong.. do i?
PS- You WILL be there
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
You gotta have one of those deep, intraspective journal entries every once in a while.
Stay strong.