blah. forget all that. sorry.
"I'm only happy when I'm sad
and my good times are all bad
and my best years have all left me, along with you.
when I'm up I'm still down
and my smile is my frown
I'm a clown
I'm still falling away from you
my hallway is fraught with dangers
It's peopled with memories and ghosts
an apparition sits in my laundry
laughing and...
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and my good times are all bad
and my best years have all left me, along with you.
when I'm up I'm still down
and my smile is my frown
I'm a clown
I'm still falling away from you
my hallway is fraught with dangers
It's peopled with memories and ghosts
an apparition sits in my laundry
laughing and...
Read More
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
nch:
Hell yeah. Got my ticket already (almost).
Is that one of the arab strap lot that song?
Is that one of the arab strap lot that song?
l:
hello hello. thanks for the message 
im from hamilton, ont.
im from hamilton, ont.
hello again!
its been too long I know, and I've missed you all loads and lots, and right now I'm running around trying to decide who to catch up on first (except my flatmate is making "need the phone noises" (in spanish) outside my door, so I might need to run away)
Its amazing how much difference a little distance can make. Even though nothing...
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its been too long I know, and I've missed you all loads and lots, and right now I'm running around trying to decide who to catch up on first (except my flatmate is making "need the phone noises" (in spanish) outside my door, so I might need to run away)
Its amazing how much difference a little distance can make. Even though nothing...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
llona:
I wish I could have gone to the beach.
I missed your posts while you were away.
xo
I missed your posts while you were away.
xo
tarbaby:
i'm so glad you are back and energized! and you know i always love your sappiness.
yes,i really overindulged the other night and paid for it for about two days. i don't really drink much anymore,mostly because i'm the one driving,but the other night i had someone with me who could drive my car home (even though by the time i asked him he didn't really have a choice!). oh well...
and "less-deathly-pale"? are you saying that you got some SUN?! i won't believe it until i see it,so i guess this is a good time to get on you about putting up a picture!!!
so not much else going on-i have a big weekend full of fun and excitement planned if my car doesn't crap out.
again,i am glad you are back oxoxoxox
yes,i really overindulged the other night and paid for it for about two days. i don't really drink much anymore,mostly because i'm the one driving,but the other night i had someone with me who could drive my car home (even though by the time i asked him he didn't really have a choice!). oh well...
and "less-deathly-pale"? are you saying that you got some SUN?! i won't believe it until i see it,so i guess this is a good time to get on you about putting up a picture!!!
so not much else going on-i have a big weekend full of fun and excitement planned if my car doesn't crap out.
again,i am glad you are back oxoxoxox
I'm off home, so this is going to be the last you'll here from me (for about a week.) As loving and lliberal as my parents are, I'm not sure how they'd feel about me posting on an "Adult" site.
actually, what I'm kinda freaked out about is the thought of my dad getting really into this too (or my mum). And that's something no...
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actually, what I'm kinda freaked out about is the thought of my dad getting really into this too (or my mum). And that's something no...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
onefoolishline:
all right, you, naturally, get the last post.
i know these past few months have been odd, probably to say the least, for you. i hope things are at least starting to pull together in some sort of coherent, albeit stained-glass sort of fashion.
last night i went to the counting crows concert...usually i stand during concerts (yes i'm that girl), if not flail about like a madwoman...however, during 'rain king' i had to lay down, i know it's a bit off, but i felt like there was this huge weight that i had ignored lifting for a moment and it was so much to bear for me. i stared up at the blue fading into black in the sky, while thirty eight thousand people failed to notice the tear making it's way down that familiar run of my cheek. and thank god because i couldn't deal with it if anyone saw... i came to the realization of this: i will never completely get over that last one that i loved so utterly and completely, strong enough to lose myself, but for once i didn't. and loving someone if it's reciprocated and yet obstructed and still unatainable is almost worse than if it wasn't. love, the emotional bastard, is vacant and unseen to me, at least so far away in a distant that no man made contraption could ever measure. last night i let it go a little, in the middle of a crowd, also vacant and unseen, but enough to sway from my daily untouchable facade.
i hope your 'holiday proper' was fantastic, and that you're rested, and that your mum and dad are doing well. i'm going to miss you, tons. thank you for your words.
xxx and when you're not looking a stealthy
~h.
i know these past few months have been odd, probably to say the least, for you. i hope things are at least starting to pull together in some sort of coherent, albeit stained-glass sort of fashion.
last night i went to the counting crows concert...usually i stand during concerts (yes i'm that girl), if not flail about like a madwoman...however, during 'rain king' i had to lay down, i know it's a bit off, but i felt like there was this huge weight that i had ignored lifting for a moment and it was so much to bear for me. i stared up at the blue fading into black in the sky, while thirty eight thousand people failed to notice the tear making it's way down that familiar run of my cheek. and thank god because i couldn't deal with it if anyone saw... i came to the realization of this: i will never completely get over that last one that i loved so utterly and completely, strong enough to lose myself, but for once i didn't. and loving someone if it's reciprocated and yet obstructed and still unatainable is almost worse than if it wasn't. love, the emotional bastard, is vacant and unseen to me, at least so far away in a distant that no man made contraption could ever measure. last night i let it go a little, in the middle of a crowd, also vacant and unseen, but enough to sway from my daily untouchable facade.
i hope your 'holiday proper' was fantastic, and that you're rested, and that your mum and dad are doing well.
i'm going to miss you, tons. thank you for your words.
xxx and when you're not looking a stealthy
~h.
tarbaby:
i'm jealous that you got her last post,but since i was with her for two days i guess i can't complain. we talked about you,too. about the fact that we both have the biggest,maddest crushes on you. were your ears burning?
gawd we had a great time! i put up a few pics,but my pics folder is full so i could only fit in about five.
so how is your visit going? i would so love to go there and see all of the things you talk about. you could show me around and we could drink booze laced peppermint tea and laugh like maniacs about nothing in particular. *sigh*
i will talk to you soon~check in as soon as you can! ~a
gawd we had a great time! i put up a few pics,but my pics folder is full so i could only fit in about five.
so how is your visit going? i would so love to go there and see all of the things you talk about. you could show me around and we could drink booze laced peppermint tea and laugh like maniacs about nothing in particular. *sigh*
i will talk to you soon~check in as soon as you can! ~a
It's been too long, I know....
It's just been a really stupid busy week; work's been hell, I've been in the studio painting away like a madman (albeit a very very careful, meticulous minimal one because I've got a show coming up in a couple of weeks) so i've hardly had any time to catch up on myself, let alone do all the things that...
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It's just been a really stupid busy week; work's been hell, I've been in the studio painting away like a madman (albeit a very very careful, meticulous minimal one because I've got a show coming up in a couple of weeks) so i've hardly had any time to catch up on myself, let alone do all the things that...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
onefoolishline:
GOD! that sounds so beautiful...i WILL go there...promise, in the most realisticly possible promise that one can give on a website, that we can go there...it just sounds wonderful. i love poppies too..and tulips, isn't it holland that's famous for tulips. i think i will visit the various parts of europe according to flowers.
here the maximum poetry i can reach at the moment:
i am sitting here, drinking a beer, eating a frozen tv dinner, wishing i had gone on a picnic in a field of poppies with castles and oceans and GAH! when am i moving? SOON?!
hmmmm...
let me take a moment to say that i will miss your posts especially. they have this strange way of always touching me, making me smile...
here the maximum poetry i can reach at the moment:
i am sitting here, drinking a beer, eating a frozen tv dinner, wishing i had gone on a picnic in a field of poppies with castles and oceans and GAH! when am i moving? SOON?!
hmmmm...
let me take a moment to say that i will miss your posts especially. they have this strange way of always touching me, making me smile...
scylla:
Mmm Jeff Buckley. Have you ever heard his cover of "Dido's Lament" (this is an aria, not a song by dido)? It's absolutely amazing/haunting. Very sad, too, a woman lamenting her own death. His dad's pretty good too.
I saw Mogwai live and you are right, they were amazing. They played an awesome, 25 minute version of My Father, My King. Transcendent.
When I saw Mars Volta, there were these really annoying guys sitting behind me (I was lame and didn't go in the pit) making nonstop gay jokes about Cedric & Omar (well, for the 2 hours before they went onstage, grrmgmlglgem). Then they mentioned that they'd seen them seven times. Bastards! They were great live as well. Yay. I like your music taste, you seem like a cool dude. I will add you to my list thingy. Have you ever heard Kerouac read his work aloud? Adds a whole other dimension.
I saw Mogwai live and you are right, they were amazing. They played an awesome, 25 minute version of My Father, My King. Transcendent.
When I saw Mars Volta, there were these really annoying guys sitting behind me (I was lame and didn't go in the pit) making nonstop gay jokes about Cedric & Omar (well, for the 2 hours before they went onstage, grrmgmlglgem). Then they mentioned that they'd seen them seven times. Bastards! They were great live as well. Yay. I like your music taste, you seem like a cool dude. I will add you to my list thingy. Have you ever heard Kerouac read his work aloud? Adds a whole other dimension.
She's leaving this place.
and even though I get the feeling I hardly know a thing about what it is that makes her special (I just get it, even though I'll never get to the bottom of it) I'm gonna miss her.
you know who you are.
thanks for it all,
and even though I get the feeling I hardly know a thing about what it is that makes her special (I just get it, even though I'll never get to the bottom of it) I'm gonna miss her.
you know who you are.
thanks for it all,
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
onefoolishline:
hey...i saw someone reading kerouac today on the bus and for some reason thought of you...
funny to think of someone without a face...
funny to think of someone without a face...
magxc:
no shame in knowing toby p. i've met him a few times through work and he does seem a lovely chap.
oddly enough i was talking to someone else on here about the glasgow / edinburgh divide. it's rooted in their economic histories i think. edinburgh's always had the large financial institutions, the old money. glasgow's always been merchant class. the del boy, wheeler-dealer of the two. that reflects in the culture and even the landscape of the places - glasgow's dynamic but a bit of a cheap tart, edinburgh's classy but a little staid.
i do find it odd that you can almost taste the differnec in the air.
oddly enough i was talking to someone else on here about the glasgow / edinburgh divide. it's rooted in their economic histories i think. edinburgh's always had the large financial institutions, the old money. glasgow's always been merchant class. the del boy, wheeler-dealer of the two. that reflects in the culture and even the landscape of the places - glasgow's dynamic but a bit of a cheap tart, edinburgh's classy but a little staid.
i do find it odd that you can almost taste the differnec in the air.
after just a slight freakout earlier (see previous entry if you're at all interested, I wouldn't recommend it especially). i've had a posh meal in a posh restaruant on the top floor of a museum, with amazing views of the city and its sunset. I got paid today and my best girlyfriend was feeling miserable so we spoiled ourselves.
and too much wine. mmmmmmmmmmm.
which...
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and too much wine. mmmmmmmmmmm.
which...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
minimalism:
Do you listen to Interpol as well?
tarbaby:
i have a hangover and my brain is not functioning correctly. so i will leave you with this-if you ever go to a wine tasting please make sure to eat first....
shit. fuck.
this is bad.
I've realised that somebody I know has just got an SG memebership. He's the ex of my ex, (of the girl I'm still pretty much in love with even though she's a ways away). And if he ever reads this, he's going to figure it out pretty damn quick.
I don't especially like the guy, it has to be said....
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this is bad.
I've realised that somebody I know has just got an SG memebership. He's the ex of my ex, (of the girl I'm still pretty much in love with even though she's a ways away). And if he ever reads this, he's going to figure it out pretty damn quick.
I don't especially like the guy, it has to be said....
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cherry:
I don't think you're being paranoid. But you can't stop it happening either. SG is a public place and getting bigger - it'll happen to everyone sooner or later 
Cherry xox
P.S I'd never work in a bank. Yack.
Cherry xox
P.S I'd never work in a bank. Yack.
early morning (6am over here) and I'm at that stage where late night drunkeness turns into weariness and th overwhelming urge to flop into bed and sleep forever. A party where I barely knew anyone, and where I ended up baring what's left of my little old soul to a random stranger. I drank way too much and danced badly to Abba too. I didn't...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
onefoolishline:
wrote something in my journal just for you.
tarbaby:
heehee-you don't like dave and my drunken posts on the boards? i have no idea what i am doing up (it is 8am here). i think it must be the fact that i don't drink and tonight i decided to put down a few ales. must have had some weird speed-like effect. now i'm getting tierd though,so i will sleep all day and probably miss the fireworks-poop
*sigh.....*
summer sun afternoons.
summer sun afternoons.
tarbaby:
agreed. that is about all i can muster at the moment,as my brain has melted from the heat
If there is anything I can do to help you feel better, let me know. You're awesome and I hate that you feel this way.
xo