hello again!
its been too long I know, and I've missed you all loads and lots, and right now I'm running around trying to decide who to catch up on first (except my flatmate is making "need the phone noises" (in spanish) outside my door, so I might need to run away)
Its amazing how much difference a little distance can make. Even though nothing...
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its been too long I know, and I've missed you all loads and lots, and right now I'm running around trying to decide who to catch up on first (except my flatmate is making "need the phone noises" (in spanish) outside my door, so I might need to run away)
Its amazing how much difference a little distance can make. Even though nothing...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
I'm off home, so this is going to be the last you'll here from me (for about a week.) As loving and lliberal as my parents are, I'm not sure how they'd feel about me posting on an "Adult" site.
actually, what I'm kinda freaked out about is the thought of my dad getting really into this too (or my mum). And that's something no...
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actually, what I'm kinda freaked out about is the thought of my dad getting really into this too (or my mum). And that's something no...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
onefoolishline:
all right, you, naturally, get the last post.
i know these past few months have been odd, probably to say the least, for you. i hope things are at least starting to pull together in some sort of coherent, albeit stained-glass sort of fashion.
last night i went to the counting crows concert...usually i stand during concerts (yes i'm that girl), if not flail about like a madwoman...however, during 'rain king' i had to lay down, i know it's a bit off, but i felt like there was this huge weight that i had ignored lifting for a moment and it was so much to bear for me. i stared up at the blue fading into black in the sky, while thirty eight thousand people failed to notice the tear making it's way down that familiar run of my cheek. and thank god because i couldn't deal with it if anyone saw... i came to the realization of this: i will never completely get over that last one that i loved so utterly and completely, strong enough to lose myself, but for once i didn't. and loving someone if it's reciprocated and yet obstructed and still unatainable is almost worse than if it wasn't. love, the emotional bastard, is vacant and unseen to me, at least so far away in a distant that no man made contraption could ever measure. last night i let it go a little, in the middle of a crowd, also vacant and unseen, but enough to sway from my daily untouchable facade.
i hope your 'holiday proper' was fantastic, and that you're rested, and that your mum and dad are doing well.
i'm going to miss you, tons. thank you for your words.
xxx and when you're not looking a stealthy
~h.
i know these past few months have been odd, probably to say the least, for you. i hope things are at least starting to pull together in some sort of coherent, albeit stained-glass sort of fashion.
last night i went to the counting crows concert...usually i stand during concerts (yes i'm that girl), if not flail about like a madwoman...however, during 'rain king' i had to lay down, i know it's a bit off, but i felt like there was this huge weight that i had ignored lifting for a moment and it was so much to bear for me. i stared up at the blue fading into black in the sky, while thirty eight thousand people failed to notice the tear making it's way down that familiar run of my cheek. and thank god because i couldn't deal with it if anyone saw... i came to the realization of this: i will never completely get over that last one that i loved so utterly and completely, strong enough to lose myself, but for once i didn't. and loving someone if it's reciprocated and yet obstructed and still unatainable is almost worse than if it wasn't. love, the emotional bastard, is vacant and unseen to me, at least so far away in a distant that no man made contraption could ever measure. last night i let it go a little, in the middle of a crowd, also vacant and unseen, but enough to sway from my daily untouchable facade.
i hope your 'holiday proper' was fantastic, and that you're rested, and that your mum and dad are doing well.
i'm going to miss you, tons. thank you for your words.
xxx and when you're not looking a stealthy
~h.
tarbaby:
i'm jealous that you got her last post,but since i was with her for two days i guess i can't complain. we talked about you,too. about the fact that we both have the biggest,maddest crushes on you. were your ears burning?
gawd we had a great time! i put up a few pics,but my pics folder is full so i could only fit in about five.
so how is your visit going? i would so love to go there and see all of the things you talk about. you could show me around and we could drink booze laced peppermint tea and laugh like maniacs about nothing in particular. *sigh*
i will talk to you soon~check in as soon as you can! ~a
gawd we had a great time! i put up a few pics,but my pics folder is full so i could only fit in about five.
so how is your visit going? i would so love to go there and see all of the things you talk about. you could show me around and we could drink booze laced peppermint tea and laugh like maniacs about nothing in particular. *sigh*
i will talk to you soon~check in as soon as you can! ~a
It's been too long, I know....
It's just been a really stupid busy week; work's been hell, I've been in the studio painting away like a madman (albeit a very very careful, meticulous minimal one because I've got a show coming up in a couple of weeks) so i've hardly had any time to catch up on myself, let alone do all the things that...
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It's just been a really stupid busy week; work's been hell, I've been in the studio painting away like a madman (albeit a very very careful, meticulous minimal one because I've got a show coming up in a couple of weeks) so i've hardly had any time to catch up on myself, let alone do all the things that...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
onefoolishline:
GOD! that sounds so beautiful...i WILL go there...promise, in the most realisticly possible promise that one can give on a website, that we can go there...it just sounds wonderful. i love poppies too..and tulips, isn't it holland that's famous for tulips. i think i will visit the various parts of europe according to flowers.
here the maximum poetry i can reach at the moment:
i am sitting here, drinking a beer, eating a frozen tv dinner, wishing i had gone on a picnic in a field of poppies with castles and oceans and GAH! when am i moving? SOON?!
hmmmm...
let me take a moment to say that i will miss your posts especially. they have this strange way of always touching me, making me smile...
here the maximum poetry i can reach at the moment:
i am sitting here, drinking a beer, eating a frozen tv dinner, wishing i had gone on a picnic in a field of poppies with castles and oceans and GAH! when am i moving? SOON?!
hmmmm...
let me take a moment to say that i will miss your posts especially. they have this strange way of always touching me, making me smile...
scylla:
Mmm Jeff Buckley. Have you ever heard his cover of "Dido's Lament" (this is an aria, not a song by dido)? It's absolutely amazing/haunting. Very sad, too, a woman lamenting her own death. His dad's pretty good too.
I saw Mogwai live and you are right, they were amazing. They played an awesome, 25 minute version of My Father, My King. Transcendent.
When I saw Mars Volta, there were these really annoying guys sitting behind me (I was lame and didn't go in the pit) making nonstop gay jokes about Cedric & Omar (well, for the 2 hours before they went onstage, grrmgmlglgem). Then they mentioned that they'd seen them seven times. Bastards! They were great live as well. Yay. I like your music taste, you seem like a cool dude. I will add you to my list thingy. Have you ever heard Kerouac read his work aloud? Adds a whole other dimension.
I saw Mogwai live and you are right, they were amazing. They played an awesome, 25 minute version of My Father, My King. Transcendent.
When I saw Mars Volta, there were these really annoying guys sitting behind me (I was lame and didn't go in the pit) making nonstop gay jokes about Cedric & Omar (well, for the 2 hours before they went onstage, grrmgmlglgem). Then they mentioned that they'd seen them seven times. Bastards! They were great live as well. Yay. I like your music taste, you seem like a cool dude. I will add you to my list thingy. Have you ever heard Kerouac read his work aloud? Adds a whole other dimension.
She's leaving this place.
and even though I get the feeling I hardly know a thing about what it is that makes her special (I just get it, even though I'll never get to the bottom of it) I'm gonna miss her.
you know who you are.
thanks for it all,
and even though I get the feeling I hardly know a thing about what it is that makes her special (I just get it, even though I'll never get to the bottom of it) I'm gonna miss her.
you know who you are.
thanks for it all,
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onefoolishline:
hey...i saw someone reading kerouac today on the bus and for some reason thought of you...
funny to think of someone without a face...
funny to think of someone without a face...
magxc:
no shame in knowing toby p. i've met him a few times through work and he does seem a lovely chap.
oddly enough i was talking to someone else on here about the glasgow / edinburgh divide. it's rooted in their economic histories i think. edinburgh's always had the large financial institutions, the old money. glasgow's always been merchant class. the del boy, wheeler-dealer of the two. that reflects in the culture and even the landscape of the places - glasgow's dynamic but a bit of a cheap tart, edinburgh's classy but a little staid.
i do find it odd that you can almost taste the differnec in the air.
oddly enough i was talking to someone else on here about the glasgow / edinburgh divide. it's rooted in their economic histories i think. edinburgh's always had the large financial institutions, the old money. glasgow's always been merchant class. the del boy, wheeler-dealer of the two. that reflects in the culture and even the landscape of the places - glasgow's dynamic but a bit of a cheap tart, edinburgh's classy but a little staid.
i do find it odd that you can almost taste the differnec in the air.
after just a slight freakout earlier (see previous entry if you're at all interested, I wouldn't recommend it especially). i've had a posh meal in a posh restaruant on the top floor of a museum, with amazing views of the city and its sunset. I got paid today and my best girlyfriend was feeling miserable so we spoiled ourselves.
and too much wine. mmmmmmmmmmm.
which...
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and too much wine. mmmmmmmmmmm.
which...
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minimalism:
Do you listen to Interpol as well?
tarbaby:
i have a hangover and my brain is not functioning correctly. so i will leave you with this-if you ever go to a wine tasting please make sure to eat first....
shit. fuck.
this is bad.
I've realised that somebody I know has just got an SG memebership. He's the ex of my ex, (of the girl I'm still pretty much in love with even though she's a ways away). And if he ever reads this, he's going to figure it out pretty damn quick.
I don't especially like the guy, it has to be said....
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this is bad.
I've realised that somebody I know has just got an SG memebership. He's the ex of my ex, (of the girl I'm still pretty much in love with even though she's a ways away). And if he ever reads this, he's going to figure it out pretty damn quick.
I don't especially like the guy, it has to be said....
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cherry:
I don't think you're being paranoid. But you can't stop it happening either. SG is a public place and getting bigger - it'll happen to everyone sooner or later 
Cherry xox
P.S I'd never work in a bank. Yack.
Cherry xox
P.S I'd never work in a bank. Yack.
early morning (6am over here) and I'm at that stage where late night drunkeness turns into weariness and th overwhelming urge to flop into bed and sleep forever. A party where I barely knew anyone, and where I ended up baring what's left of my little old soul to a random stranger. I drank way too much and danced badly to Abba too. I didn't...
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onefoolishline:
wrote something in my journal just for you.
tarbaby:
heehee-you don't like dave and my drunken posts on the boards? i have no idea what i am doing up (it is 8am here). i think it must be the fact that i don't drink and tonight i decided to put down a few ales. must have had some weird speed-like effect. now i'm getting tierd though,so i will sleep all day and probably miss the fireworks-poop
*sigh.....*
summer sun afternoons.
summer sun afternoons.
tarbaby:
agreed. that is about all i can muster at the moment,as my brain has melted from the heat
Like I said..."Its been forever since I've been out his late with you" and she told me then "I'll always be around, wherever. you know that"
and my heart melted a little bit more.
I'm such a sap sometimes, but it was one of those moments. Where "nothing" happened, because nothing is ever going to happen between us. but did I wish it had? A...
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and my heart melted a little bit more.
I'm such a sap sometimes, but it was one of those moments. Where "nothing" happened, because nothing is ever going to happen between us. but did I wish it had? A...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
onefoolishline:
tomorrow i'll send you a few hugs through telepathy over a few thousand miles...
today on the bus, i caught myself remembering the chokecherry bushes that grew in my back yard. i tried to remember their exact taste, bitter yet smooth and sweet. addictive.
this all remembed me of the crabapples, the violet bush, the wild strawberries. the exact place i put my feet in the grass. the cartwheels and the tire swings.
the clean air and breathing heaven and exhaling the sun.
i often catch myself trying to remember the exact and smallest detail.
the heart melts like rain into these crevices, sinking on the brow, trickling to the eyelash, and the cheek, stained tears.
~heather
today on the bus, i caught myself remembering the chokecherry bushes that grew in my back yard. i tried to remember their exact taste, bitter yet smooth and sweet. addictive.
this all remembed me of the crabapples, the violet bush, the wild strawberries. the exact place i put my feet in the grass. the cartwheels and the tire swings.
the clean air and breathing heaven and exhaling the sun.
i often catch myself trying to remember the exact and smallest detail.
the heart melts like rain into these crevices, sinking on the brow, trickling to the eyelash, and the cheek, stained tears.
~heather
hello...
my head hurts bad today and they're digging up the road outside my house, which isn't helping any.
But it's all in a good cause: I went to see Cursive play in glasgow last night and they were sooo good, even though there were only about 12 people there. they went a bit Mogwai at the end, all helicopter noises, which was really good,...
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my head hurts bad today and they're digging up the road outside my house, which isn't helping any.
But it's all in a good cause: I went to see Cursive play in glasgow last night and they were sooo good, even though there were only about 12 people there. they went a bit Mogwai at the end, all helicopter noises, which was really good,...
Read More
llona:
Early summer has the same effect on me, and it's wonderful and crazy and I never want it to end. Crushes are the best, and being a little hot and sweaty and free just makes them more intense and frequent.
I've heard that during summer in scotland it's light out until like 11pm. I love really long days, when it just sort of hovers around dusk for hours.
What kind of art do you do?
xo
I've heard that during summer in scotland it's light out until like 11pm. I love really long days, when it just sort of hovers around dusk for hours.
What kind of art do you do?
xo
tarbaby:
this weather is making me impossibly lazy. i've been neglecting all of the things that i should be doing. sunshine and chores don't mix. horrible too,as i have a big weekend ahead of me-too many things going on and odds are i won't do any of them....
hey, how are you?
today is one of those rare summer days that make everything seem so much clearer. I know nothing much has changed really, and its me that needs to do most of the changing at some point (see the list of to-do things pinned to my door right now), but right now I just want to walk along the street holding hands...
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today is one of those rare summer days that make everything seem so much clearer. I know nothing much has changed really, and its me that needs to do most of the changing at some point (see the list of to-do things pinned to my door right now), but right now I just want to walk along the street holding hands...
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onefoolishline:
yes, i'm leaving...but soon to be seen in a country near you.
you've just described my mood.
you've just described my mood.
the anniversary of something.
"In pitch dark
I go walking in your landscape
Broken branches trip me as I speak
just because you feel it
doesn't mean its there.
there's always a siren
singing you to shipwreck
"Steer away from these rocks
we'd be a walking disaster"
why so green and lonely?
Heaven sent you to me.
we are accidents
waiting
waiting to happen."
I...
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"In pitch dark
I go walking in your landscape
Broken branches trip me as I speak
just because you feel it
doesn't mean its there.
there's always a siren
singing you to shipwreck
"Steer away from these rocks
we'd be a walking disaster"
why so green and lonely?
Heaven sent you to me.
we are accidents
waiting
waiting to happen."
I...
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minimalism:
Most things in life have a purpose, beyond what we can see at the time. One of the best things that ever happened to me was my first true love and I spilting up. I spent nearly a year sorting through every detail of that relationship trying to surmise what went wrong. In the end it forced me to grow in ways I never expected. I have come to accept there are things beyond our control no matter how hard we try. You can be the perfect gentleman to your partner Treat them well, never neglect them, or hurt them, and yet there may still be a need to them to see other people. It's through no fault of you own or theirs. It just happenes. I think it's somhow better to just deal with the pain, the loss, and use it as a learning experience. Keep it positive.
_lauren_:
yeah i saw it.
i fucking LOVE csi so bad.
i fucking LOVE csi so bad.
I missed your posts while you were away.
xo
yes,i really overindulged the other night and paid for it for about two days. i don't really drink much anymore,mostly because i'm the one driving,but the other night i had someone with me who could drive my car home (even though by the time i asked him he didn't really have a choice!). oh well...
and "less-deathly-pale"? are you saying that you got some SUN?! i won't believe it until i see it,so i guess this is a good time to get on you about putting up a picture!!!
so not much else going on-i have a big weekend full of fun and excitement planned if my car doesn't crap out.
again,i am glad you are back oxoxoxox