rylie

I had a dream last night that has leaked into my day and I can't stop thinking about the what-ifs in my life.

the dream was that I went back in time to my first day in the dorms, but I still had all my memories, and it was too much power, the ability to change the things that went wrong, and stop things from happening that sucked. But at the same time I didn't know how those sucky things had affected our lives. What did we take out of those experiances that made us into who we are now? what would my life be like if the friends that I made at the end of the year, I made at the beginning of the year instead? and how much would it suck if I had to wait six months to gain a friendship with someone that I now consider one of my best friends? would I be able to spend six months without them? and how would my knowledge of them scare them away, knowing I am best friends with someone now, but in that time, they had just met me.

it was scary.

and now I'm dwelling on who I've become as a person and how those changes would effect me.

it's a scary game to play, and I need to stop.