rude_ruca

....Today was the kind of day that, well, I had to excuse myself to the ladies', wrap my arm around my face and proceed, accordingly, to scream into my arm pit. Several times, actually. Yes, it was just that kind of day....


...The silence is deafening and paralyzing and it burns, it just fucking burns. It's got my heart in a choke hold, it's clawing at my throat and has wrapped it's every extremity around my brain, pushing and pulling, but never in sync. This is a new feeling, a feeling of guilt that stemmed from something that I had thought was right, and appropriate, but none of those things when reality sank in. I am a selfish ass, a ruiner of what may be right, but never gave anything thought and I am not proud of either of those things. It's as if I expect people to live on the same plane as myself. Rain drops washed away any integrity I had left, made me look as foolish as my running mascara and I do not know any other way of expressing this. How much am I supposed to care about any of this? I look like a fucking fool, I never stopped looking like one. I am too tenacious for my own good, a lot of the time. Either way, though, all there is left is silence.....and it fucking burns red hot....this is it, I guess, I've pushed that envelope just as far as I could, and perhaps subconsciously wanted to.....I'm fucked....






I love everything this band does. Ladies and gents, meet Elbow. They are probably going to get me through this fucking mess....