rorie

final test tomorrow/ tonight?... pouring a shit ton of drinks, and a written.
wish me luck... im stressing over it hardcore.
i still dont know if i passed the cert. test or not... it'll be mailed to me.
and with any luck, i can go find a bar that wants me to work there.
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i feel taken advantage of. like an easy way to get his foot in the door (litterally).
to say to someone - "im not ready to be in a relationship. i dont want a girlfriend.. blah blah blah.." ; and 2 weeks later, having one he somewhat just met. is a kick in my non-existant balls.
then to say nothing to me about it.
and THEN having them making out on my couch when i am in the same room. (that was my last night. i took the bottle of vodka from the freezer and started drinking.)
-tonight i came back form class eairly, and i walked into my livingroom, and saw her on top of him. did an about face, and out to my car after i slammed the door shut, and peeled out of my driveway. came home, and nothing was said about it. what. the. fuck. i honestly think hes trying to kill me.
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ive cracked.
too stressed out from class. and dealing with that shit when i come home.
and to top it off, the tv they are watching, is mine.. i moved it downstairs so they wouldnt be in my room.
so i couldnt just retreat and watch a movie.
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and i know all of this isnt that big on the grand scale of things..
but there are just some times.. times like this... that i feel that i could cry. over nothing. when i think about everything going on, i could cry.
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if you need me.. ill be cramming for my test tomorrow.
and if i pass or fail..... im getting smashed and going on a road trip to Jersey to find White Castle tomorrow night.