I've decided to share a little more of me with my closest friends, most of whom are members of this site.
To that end, I've posted some of my writing here. More pieces will be added as I complete them. Please don't feel the need to comment about them.
Edited to add - I am most definitely yet to produce my masterpiece!
i could stand naked, tapdance, do a public speech and sing a song in front of thousands but people reading my writing is always terrifying, and it's not the strangers, it's always the people you know that you are the most hesitant to reveal to!
read them all, little comments in the below spoiler.
quick forward, it's a little late and as I'm adjusting to the zoloft I can't as accurately pinpoint or articulate things as I usually do, but I'll try. I also have a habit of gigantic run on sentences, which in retrospect I'm editing but yeah, excuse any shiteous basic english structure.
voice of god - my favourite, and probably one of the most well written, stylistic pieces out of the selection. Out of all your short pieces it's one of the few that aptly conveys, with some structure and artistic closure, a fragment in time. I can see this easily as an except from something larger, yet it is still complete in itself. Some of the others felt a little incomplete, as if you had tasks or university assignments based on style, thoughts, ideas or themes set and had a word limit or control on how much you could elaborate, so this one in it's entirety is the most alluring. The character has a cohesion with the environment, and probably out of my own character curiosity, the reader wants to delve into his psychology and hold an interest in him. It's the more emotive out of the collection, and while I can't dissect it exactly, if I was to see a longer version of the work, it seems to have more of your "voice" without sounding corny. A uniqueness, style and flow that is distinctly you. Whereas the other pieces of work seem to come in a structure then word process, rather than an idea, a flow and then the restructuring at the end.
The Death of Joseph Brass once again seemed like you'd visualised a scenario, and the imagary was strong, but almost too close to a movie type. I'm not sure maybe I'm just desensitised to those stories, but while I think you omitted intent purely for the thought provoking nature of the piece, or to give it substance, there wasn't enough either inner dialogue or psychological reasoning. Maybe scene setting to at least illuminate the inner torment at why he would resort to killing is family first before undertaking what was required of him. Maybe you need some more character indentification through the audience, or to expand on the phone voice, humanise or use it as a substantial contrast/opposite character to give it more depth.
Like I said, I keep getting the feeling some of these pieces are more uni assignments that you've structured and polished to a course framework, and there is more, similar to the voice of god hiding that you won't reveal.
The clocks drift was beautiful in the sense that it brought out a lot of old world I guess comes to mind, the more classical, poetical literary style/voice. The relationship between the clock and it's maker was beautifully written,
I loved this part:
My children have no harmony any longer. Instead of singing in unison, they each tell a different tale. The cacophony is nigh unbearable. They have been perverted by the evil taint of chaos. And I could not prevent it. Oh, this frustration taunts me so.
Lord, why have you forsaken me?
I kept seeing in my mind an overriding deeper metaphor for how our actions and ideals both corrupt and follow paths in which we at inception, were largely unforseen. A sort of mirroring of the grief and regret you see people feeling when the world inexplicably changes to it's own timing and discourse.
With Someone I had that song going through my head the entire time, I forget who sings it, but yeah, that's irrelevant but not sure if that was the muse for the entire piece. I feel like somehow it could almost be written back to front, bringing the bus, commoness, humanity into the forefront of the piece and then enlightenment and reinforcement at the end. Sounds strange, but almost in the structure of the old parables, indentification with a scenario, a person, realisation and message. Why is he back? Can he explain? Is there sorrow, grief, happiness, joy, elation, pride? Then back to the bus clincher.
I really like end of story too, that doesn't need much editing and is more complete, probably that and voice of god are your two best, once again, your style coming through. Maybe one more paragraph betwen the third and forth showing her reactions to every word, the timing, does she writhe at each letter, is is the words themselves as food and substinence or is it the soul behind them? Like word, action, reaction. The link could be a little stronger to make his hopelessness and exhaustion complete.
With the essay, read that too, liked your grab! Adding that on the to-research-and-read list. I had some comment but I forgot it, so uh yeah.
Hope I didn't scare you off, and that all of this didn't come across as dishearting or critical, just I'd love to read more and yeah well, it's always good to get decen't feeback.
Nice photos by the way, it's always good to intersperse words with naked shots of attractive men. I loved 8 and 59, both for their photographic quality and yeah well. 38 made me piss myself laughing, not at your manhood or anything like that, but yeah well, it's self explanatory.
I feel a little flattered you'd name or base a character after me, I'd love to read it when your done. One is always curious (however loosely based) as how one is percieved, rather than internal perception and projection.
yeah I'm going to have to join you all for a drink sometime soon, although unless it's a tuesday/wednesday night i don't knock off till about 11:30/12. fucking work.
Hmmmm. I spend too much time on my computer.
I know this because a few moments ago I tried to use my cursor to point to a real life item... .
I shit you not, ask Dah...
The irony about machines doing our work for us is that the machines, themselves, took much more time and effort to build as it would've taken to just do the work in the first place...
But, I guess if everyone thought like me, we'd never go anywhere. I'm a... Read More
It's midday and I've just crawled out of bed,
The prospect of boredom just wasn't enough to keep me there any longer.
I'm hungry, but not enough to eat.
I'm horny, but not enough to masturbate.
I'm tired, but not enough to go back to sleep.
I'm bored, but not enough to actually do anything.
So I sit here and molest the minutes as they... Read More
when i get like that i go and get a facial or something.
or go and jump in the freezing ocean. (not good unless its a cold day)
and sticking your head in the freezer dosent seem to have the same effect somehow....
*ponders*
Edited to add a reprint of an earlier journal entry:
I want to see it all come crashing down around us. I want to be alive to see us hit critical mass. I want to to see us realise we're at the point of Hubbert's Peak and see what changes, real changes, it heralds. I want to see... Read More
OK. First day back at Uni today after a six month leave-of-absence.
This time last year I had bought all the books and stationary I needed, had complied timetables and study schedules and had even started some of the tutorial exercises. Uni-noobs do that.
This year, upon entering my first class, I had no books, was using last semesters notebook to write in, stole a... Read More
OK so I'm thinking about heading to Sexpo at about three-ish on Sunday afternoon to accommodate those working Sunday night.
We can meet here at mine and head in together. Anyone willing to drive is appreciated. Anyone needing a lift..feel free to leave a request in a comment below.
Non-SG friends are quite welcome, at least as far as I'm concerned...
Any comments, questions, queries... Read More
OK. Sexpo this Sunday afternoon with departure time, base-camp, travel arrangements and other minor details to be decided in due course. Tix will be $22 at the door.
All those interested, leave an affirmative comment below, or contact me via other methods.
Wow, quite a response. Apparently sex is a subject close to a few hearts!!! I love you guys!
I updated my post with a link to info about the show. Basically it starts on Thursday and runs until Sunday night.
Tix are $22 at the door or $19 online.
I'm hoping to get a nice little group together to go and have a few laughs, and maybe pick up a souvie or two!!
.
)
virtual cuddle to you xx
Come to Phoenix this weekend?
i could stand naked, tapdance, do a public speech and sing a song in front of thousands but people reading my writing is always terrifying, and it's not the strangers, it's always the people you know that you are the most hesitant to reveal to!
read them all, little comments in the below spoiler.
quick forward, it's a little late and as I'm adjusting to the zoloft I can't as accurately pinpoint or articulate things as I usually do, but I'll try. I also have a habit of gigantic run on sentences, which in retrospect I'm editing but yeah, excuse any shiteous basic english structure.
voice of god - my favourite, and probably one of the most well written, stylistic pieces out of the selection. Out of all your short pieces it's one of the few that aptly conveys, with some structure and artistic closure, a fragment in time. I can see this easily as an except from something larger, yet it is still complete in itself. Some of the others felt a little incomplete, as if you had tasks or university assignments based on style, thoughts, ideas or themes set and had a word limit or control on how much you could elaborate, so this one in it's entirety is the most alluring. The character has a cohesion with the environment, and probably out of my own character curiosity, the reader wants to delve into his psychology and hold an interest in him. It's the more emotive out of the collection, and while I can't dissect it exactly, if I was to see a longer version of the work, it seems to have more of your "voice" without sounding corny. A uniqueness, style and flow that is distinctly you. Whereas the other pieces of work seem to come in a structure then word process, rather than an idea, a flow and then the restructuring at the end.
The Death of Joseph Brass once again seemed like you'd visualised a scenario, and the imagary was strong, but almost too close to a movie type. I'm not sure maybe I'm just desensitised to those stories, but while I think you omitted intent purely for the thought provoking nature of the piece, or to give it substance, there wasn't enough either inner dialogue or psychological reasoning. Maybe scene setting to at least illuminate the inner torment at why he would resort to killing is family first before undertaking what was required of him. Maybe you need some more character indentification through the audience, or to expand on the phone voice, humanise or use it as a substantial contrast/opposite character to give it more depth.
Like I said, I keep getting the feeling some of these pieces are more uni assignments that you've structured and polished to a course framework, and there is more, similar to the voice of god hiding that you won't reveal.
The clocks drift was beautiful in the sense that it brought out a lot of old world I guess comes to mind, the more classical, poetical literary style/voice. The relationship between the clock and it's maker was beautifully written,
I loved this part:
My children have no harmony any longer. Instead of singing in unison, they each tell a different tale. The cacophony is nigh unbearable. They have been perverted by the evil taint of chaos. And I could not prevent it. Oh, this frustration taunts me so.
Lord, why have you forsaken me?
I kept seeing in my mind an overriding deeper metaphor for how our actions and ideals both corrupt and follow paths in which we at inception, were largely unforseen. A sort of mirroring of the grief and regret you see people feeling when the world inexplicably changes to it's own timing and discourse.
With Someone I had that song going through my head the entire time, I forget who sings it, but yeah, that's irrelevant but not sure if that was the muse for the entire piece. I feel like somehow it could almost be written back to front, bringing the bus, commoness, humanity into the forefront of the piece and then enlightenment and reinforcement at the end. Sounds strange, but almost in the structure of the old parables, indentification with a scenario, a person, realisation and message. Why is he back? Can he explain? Is there sorrow, grief, happiness, joy, elation, pride? Then back to the bus clincher.
I really like end of story too, that doesn't need much editing and is more complete, probably that and voice of god are your two best, once again, your style coming through. Maybe one more paragraph betwen the third and forth showing her reactions to every word, the timing, does she writhe at each letter, is is the words themselves as food and substinence or is it the soul behind them? Like word, action, reaction. The link could be a little stronger to make his hopelessness and exhaustion complete.
With the essay, read that too, liked your grab! Adding that on the to-research-and-read list. I had some comment but I forgot it, so uh yeah.
Hope I didn't scare you off, and that all of this didn't come across as dishearting or critical, just I'd love to read more and yeah well, it's always good to get decen't feeback.
Nice photos by the way, it's always good to intersperse words with naked shots of attractive men. I loved 8 and 59, both for their photographic quality and yeah well. 38 made me piss myself laughing, not at your manhood or anything like that, but yeah well, it's self explanatory.
I feel a little flattered you'd name or base a character after me, I'd love to read it when your done. One is always curious (however loosely based) as how one is percieved, rather than internal perception and projection.
yeah I'm going to have to join you all for a drink sometime soon, although unless it's a tuesday/wednesday night i don't knock off till about 11:30/12. fucking work.
alright, i'm off to bed thats me for the night.