Okay, it's late and I'm bored. And when I'm bored I like to get things off my chest in a public forum, so I can be scrutinized and ridiculed; like nature intended. ;-) Seriously, when did it become okay to keep the things that bother us bottled up pushed down buried inside us? It's not healthy and more importantly it does nothing to help the problem. I'm not saying we should all go out into the streets and spill our guts to just anyone, but I figure going someplace there are like minded individual (such as a social network site.) and unloading a bit of your whoa's could be not only therapeutic, but there might be others going through the same thing; and those individuals might just be able to understand an lend a voice of advice. A lot of times I find myself riddled with self doubt, unsure of how others perceive me. I mean it's hard to tell if someone actually likes you, or they're just being nice, or if they're just trying to get something out of you. That's not the biggest problem, the biggest problem is will they accept who you are or reject you. Can a real connection be found? These questions really do plague my thoughts quite often. It's not like I'm a non functioning depression filled human being. But I do have times when I don't see any hope. Don't get me wrong, I'm not devoid of hope, I just lose sight of it from time to time. Fore most is in the search for, well... Love, I don't really understand why it's so hard to find it. You meet somebody you find a connection with. You like each other and are in fact attracted to each other. But for some reason or another things just keep getting in the way to cause you to miss connect. I envy people, who have found love, but I am saddened when someone with a good heart and a lot of love to give, stays in a bad relationship simply because they either don't feel they can find anyone else, they think they can change the person they're with, or worst of all.. feel they deserve the abuse they're receiving. The sad fact is, it's never that simple. People more often than not CAN NOT CHANGE. Actually I should say will not change. Because they've found a way to assert their values on their significant other and that gives them a power they may lack elsewhere in their lives. I saw it far too often growing up. My dad did it to my mom and my siblings, and most of all to me. That brings me to my final point for this blog. When you are in love, shouldn't you do everything to earn it? I mean every day you have together should be spent actually loving each other, accepting and returning the love given by the one person who does know your faults and still wants you. Love shouldn't hurt, it should make you stronger and leave you with no doubts. I'm not saying that two people in love wont make mistakes and argue, but the mutual respect, and love allowed by your connection should make anything possible.
