rokko's SuicideGirls Blog

I don't know how I should ask for forgiveness....

I wish I could be more social, fun, friendly and good at communicating with people. Also if I could understand English, I don't make miscommunication or misunderstanding.

Damn silly Japanese.

alienheep:

Well if you can't think of anything then..

I've heard English is fucking hard to learn.. I don't know Japanese

Nov 6, 2009

nolongerhere:

Being on a website like SG is the best thing you can do to learn English. You have to read it all the time and can still look up words you don't know in a dictionary. I learned a lot here.

Nov 6, 2009

After I woke up, and checked my mails.
All the mails were making me sad, and I can't stop crying.
I'm not loved by people who I love. That's what I realized first in the morning.

What a great day today.

Probably everyone thinks me as a cheerful person, but that's not true.
People expect me to entertain them, so I'm always trying to cheer...
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VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS

mssasha:

Big hug to you.

Nov 6, 2009

horror_head:

You make me

Nov 6, 2009

actually, there's nothing special at all today.
But I try to keep myself smiling.

VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS

ryu:

Nov 5, 2009

mssasha:

What a happy day for you.

Nov 5, 2009

Don't laugh, because I'm serious.
I haven't had a boyfriend for 3 years, and I don't have anybody for dating with.

I'm afraid I'll be totally alone rest of my life.
I'd love to know how happy I will be, if I have somebody to love.
I almost forgot what love is, or how I was happy with somebody.

There's no opportunity for me to...
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VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS

horror_head:

It seems like you have a lot of opportunity.

Nov 4, 2009

lixor17:

My memory is fuzzy, but as I recall, by the time I was 34, I had racked up a total of 2 "dates" (one of which was an absolute dud, the other didn't lead to a Relationship); one lover who turned out to be completely messed up mentally; one over-domineering girlfriend; three women I -thought- I was dating but they thought we were just friends; several crushes; three women bursting into tears and saying they weren't good enough for me and refusing to see me again when I expressed an interest in them. And yes, if you kept track through that, the implication is that I never dated the psycho lover or the dom girlfriend, just went straight into a relationships with them. (They had seemed like good ideas at the times.) My present partner, whom I've known for close to 15 years... oddly, I didn't date her before getting into a relationship with her, either: before we got involved, we just did a bunch of things together as friends, and the relationship snuck up on us. (A week later, she got laid off, so 2 months later she moved to another country for 4 years.)

Clearly, then, I am not the right person to give any dating advice. Everyone I ever took the initiative in asking out, turned me down (except that one dud date -- and it only took us seconds to instinctively dislike each other, though we were polite about it.)

Waiting for years to find someone to love and be loved... yeh, it's happened to me for sure. (And hard as it was to go through that, it wasn't 1/10th as hard as keeping a Relationship alive over the long term.)

Nov 4, 2009