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rocky

Germany

SG Since 2018

Followers 6108 Following 246

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My hypocritical self 😪

Dec 8, 2018
14
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(It’s a tad length)

As most of you guys know, my first set “RYOKO” dropped last week. I was and still am so excited with the love, likes and comments everyone shared. Even more so when I saw that the Official Suicide Girls Instagram gave me shout out (I’m still fan girl-zing. Sue me). My IG was flooded with a lot of messages by SG members, IG members and models outside of suicide girls. There was one particular message from a girl that stood out to me, it read “I love your stretch marks they make you stand out”....after reading that I just felt myself get angry. I had just finished blocking someone harassing me because they felt dark skinned women didn’t have a place on the site (which is a whole blog in itself) and I was still raging. I got super defensive and wrote an ESSAY of why she was rude and how I totally wasn’t being crazy defensive. She later wrote back apologizing and saying she almost never sees stretch marks on SG’s or Hopefuls and it made her want to give it a try..... To say I felt horrible was an understatement. I’ve always shouted “body positivity, love yourself how you are” and things of that nature to other people but only took the advice at half value.

It really put into perspective how I want to view myself, how I actually view myself, and how I SHOULD be viewing myself. I feel like a lot of people are their own worst critic to help get better at the craft they’ve chosen, but learning to tell the difference between constructive criticism and self destruction is everything.

I wish that girl knew how much she made me think, and the impact she left....

VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
gadget:
Maybe link her this blog? I intentionally didn't photoshop the cellulite that I had on my ass back in the day when I shot my set. This was a place for alternative beauty. Back then sets were shopped a lot less I think... I asked a female friend what she thought, and she told me to be brave, to leave it how it was. I've never gotten a compliment like the one that you did, but I'm grateful that I left it there. That is how my body truly was. Now I've changed and that 'flaw' is gone. If it wasn't for those pictures, I might be able to forget that. I'd rather have a true perspective of where I came from, rather than one that's been glazed over.
Dec 9, 2018
catdad:
At least you tried.
Dec 9, 2018

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