Y'know.
Congress is going after Baseball and steroid use. Kind of like someone sueing Larry Flynt, this, boys and girls, is a comfort crime--a go-to time-filler, blame someone else kind of thing while actual problems could be getting solved.
Now, while I think steroid use in Baseball should get nipped in the bud. I think the Commish should step in and kick ass. No steroids. If you're caught, you're out. Espcially if you're Barry Bonds, that boring, rule bending bastard, who could whack a homer, but never managed to salvage the 2004 season for the Giants. There. See? Errl the Commish just fixed it. No congress required.
Now this semester I'm getting brushed up on my Poly-Sci 101. Did you know Congress can fix any problem they decide to fix? Like, "Hey, that Abu Gharib fiasco was a real cluster fuck. Let's iron that one out." or "Jesus Christ, The President is pushing faith baised initiatives against people's wishes. He's misaporpriating Goverment capital for something the Goverment has no business funding. We gotta have like an independant counsel on that shit in a hurry." Isn't that great? Like any problem they decide to fix, given elbow grease, midnight oil and other metaphorical refrences to hard work, they can fix! Isn't that great?!
It would be if they went after actual problems, serious crimes, not comfort crimes. Not baseball. This is not the first time congress has had to step in to resolve a problem in the national pastime. Shouldn't the first time congres stepped in to fix a problem had all problems fixed? I believe baseball is perfectly capable of it's self. It's the most organized, disciplined, refined and mentally intense game played in America and I like to pretend the men that play, coach and own the teams are organized, disciplined, refined and mentally sharp-- while in reality, a lot of them are not unlike Jose Canseco, Tommy Lasorda and Ty Cobb (who, despite being an incredible asshole, champion drinker and uncompromising racist is still my favorite Detroit Tiger EVER for being a great goddamn ball player, who, with Walter Johnson made Detroit a Major Leauge Baseball staple, despite not winning another world series for fifty years and then not ever again since... twenty years now).
But this is less about baseball, really. I allready fixed the steroid problem, so let's get to the real problem: filler time in the capital. Voter appointed stuffed shirts who pretend to do work to get reelected. Solving baseball problems is not a way to kill time between elctions. It's what old timers do around coffee in the morning at greasy spoon truck stops. Congress needs to get their teeth out and take bites out of actual problems. But nooooo--Congress is taking baseball bats and wacking us on the head with them. We will awake in 2008 with a sore, soddomized, baseball bat-shaped ass with the steroid problem licked (bet'cha twenty yankee dollars congress borrows from Commish Errl's solution, if not rip it off totally) and big shit eatin' smiles. Vote for assholes and expect your results to be shit.
I needa damn beer.
Congress is going after Baseball and steroid use. Kind of like someone sueing Larry Flynt, this, boys and girls, is a comfort crime--a go-to time-filler, blame someone else kind of thing while actual problems could be getting solved.
Now, while I think steroid use in Baseball should get nipped in the bud. I think the Commish should step in and kick ass. No steroids. If you're caught, you're out. Espcially if you're Barry Bonds, that boring, rule bending bastard, who could whack a homer, but never managed to salvage the 2004 season for the Giants. There. See? Errl the Commish just fixed it. No congress required.
Now this semester I'm getting brushed up on my Poly-Sci 101. Did you know Congress can fix any problem they decide to fix? Like, "Hey, that Abu Gharib fiasco was a real cluster fuck. Let's iron that one out." or "Jesus Christ, The President is pushing faith baised initiatives against people's wishes. He's misaporpriating Goverment capital for something the Goverment has no business funding. We gotta have like an independant counsel on that shit in a hurry." Isn't that great? Like any problem they decide to fix, given elbow grease, midnight oil and other metaphorical refrences to hard work, they can fix! Isn't that great?!
It would be if they went after actual problems, serious crimes, not comfort crimes. Not baseball. This is not the first time congress has had to step in to resolve a problem in the national pastime. Shouldn't the first time congres stepped in to fix a problem had all problems fixed? I believe baseball is perfectly capable of it's self. It's the most organized, disciplined, refined and mentally intense game played in America and I like to pretend the men that play, coach and own the teams are organized, disciplined, refined and mentally sharp-- while in reality, a lot of them are not unlike Jose Canseco, Tommy Lasorda and Ty Cobb (who, despite being an incredible asshole, champion drinker and uncompromising racist is still my favorite Detroit Tiger EVER for being a great goddamn ball player, who, with Walter Johnson made Detroit a Major Leauge Baseball staple, despite not winning another world series for fifty years and then not ever again since... twenty years now).
But this is less about baseball, really. I allready fixed the steroid problem, so let's get to the real problem: filler time in the capital. Voter appointed stuffed shirts who pretend to do work to get reelected. Solving baseball problems is not a way to kill time between elctions. It's what old timers do around coffee in the morning at greasy spoon truck stops. Congress needs to get their teeth out and take bites out of actual problems. But nooooo--Congress is taking baseball bats and wacking us on the head with them. We will awake in 2008 with a sore, soddomized, baseball bat-shaped ass with the steroid problem licked (bet'cha twenty yankee dollars congress borrows from Commish Errl's solution, if not rip it off totally) and big shit eatin' smiles. Vote for assholes and expect your results to be shit.
I needa damn beer.
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my roomate flipped out when he saw what i did with the remote