A certain someone is holding my frozen chicken hostage. I've been reduced to calling him every half hour, leaving pathetic messages on his machine (made worse by the fact that I know he saves all of them), and meanwhile I'm ravenous and have no plans for the evening.
So, uh, what are you doing tonight?
(Yes, it has come to this.)

1. I hate geting drunk and being taken advantage of.
2. I went to the gym today.
3. Gee, life really is wonderful and has a point.
4. Let's rent Steel Magnolias.
5. Get your hand out of my pants.