I need some advice.
I'm in a very committed relationship (though a young one - only three months in). My girlfriend and I have already professed our love for one another, and I see her easily being the one I marry. She has everything I've been looking for, period.
However, something happened this morning that bugged me. She hit the bars with a friend last night and then was going to come stay the night with me afterward. When she finally came over, I was already passed out, so she joined me in bed.
The next morning when I woke up, I had a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I didn't quite know why. At this point I made what, I'll admit, was a douche move: I checked the texts on her phone. She'd mentioned that some guy she'd previously dated (who she now wants to meet up with again, but that's another blog entry) had been texting her even though she told him she had a boyfriend, so I was trying to see if he still was contacting her. I found a few harmless txts from some guy named "Adrian", a short exchange with her telling him that she was taking her friend home and was probably going to stay there, and him replying that she had been taking her friend home for a while. Then I noticed she had called him around 1 or so in the morning. Not knowing who this guy was, I got pretty red in the face, but didn't say anything. I felt bad for having looked in the first place, but now I felt that something was up.
I snooped through her phone while she was in the bathroom. When she came out, she laid next to me and, after a few minutes, readjusted herself into a more comfortable position and then told me she needed to tell me something. I was like, "Oh, boy. Here it comes." She mentioned the guy, who she so lovingly refers to as "Culero" (Spanish for "asshole"), and she told me that she really wants to meet up with him to get some sort of closure. He's the guy she dated before she met me, and things didn't work out because he moved away to school (but now he's back, hallelujah!). I told her that in no way would I ever be okay with that, because I don't feel she has any need to see this guy. I've got plenty of girls of my own who I left loose ends with. I don't have any desire to run back to them. In fact, as I told her, I have FRIENDS who are girls, nothing beyond platonic, and yet I still refuse to hang out with them because I don't want her to get the wrong idea.
But anyway, when she mentioned wanting to see this guy I told her I needed to confess something too, and admitted to looking through her phone. I asked her who Adrian was, and she asked why. I told her she had called him last night, and she was like "Really?" To cut to the chase, he's apparently a tattoo artist she met at one of the bars last night. I told her that was a really shady thing to do and asked how she'd feel if I came home with someone else's number (not to mention having called/txted this person I'd just met). She admitted that she would be pissed. To resolve the issue, she deleted his number from her phone.
Am I being overly worrisome? Should I just trust her? She tells me I'm the one she loves and wants...but does that necessarily imply that she wouldn't talk to somebody else even so? I WANT to trust her so badly, but I'm afraid of having my heart broken again.
Help me, SG.
I'm in a very committed relationship (though a young one - only three months in). My girlfriend and I have already professed our love for one another, and I see her easily being the one I marry. She has everything I've been looking for, period.
However, something happened this morning that bugged me. She hit the bars with a friend last night and then was going to come stay the night with me afterward. When she finally came over, I was already passed out, so she joined me in bed.
The next morning when I woke up, I had a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I didn't quite know why. At this point I made what, I'll admit, was a douche move: I checked the texts on her phone. She'd mentioned that some guy she'd previously dated (who she now wants to meet up with again, but that's another blog entry) had been texting her even though she told him she had a boyfriend, so I was trying to see if he still was contacting her. I found a few harmless txts from some guy named "Adrian", a short exchange with her telling him that she was taking her friend home and was probably going to stay there, and him replying that she had been taking her friend home for a while. Then I noticed she had called him around 1 or so in the morning. Not knowing who this guy was, I got pretty red in the face, but didn't say anything. I felt bad for having looked in the first place, but now I felt that something was up.
I snooped through her phone while she was in the bathroom. When she came out, she laid next to me and, after a few minutes, readjusted herself into a more comfortable position and then told me she needed to tell me something. I was like, "Oh, boy. Here it comes." She mentioned the guy, who she so lovingly refers to as "Culero" (Spanish for "asshole"), and she told me that she really wants to meet up with him to get some sort of closure. He's the guy she dated before she met me, and things didn't work out because he moved away to school (but now he's back, hallelujah!). I told her that in no way would I ever be okay with that, because I don't feel she has any need to see this guy. I've got plenty of girls of my own who I left loose ends with. I don't have any desire to run back to them. In fact, as I told her, I have FRIENDS who are girls, nothing beyond platonic, and yet I still refuse to hang out with them because I don't want her to get the wrong idea.
But anyway, when she mentioned wanting to see this guy I told her I needed to confess something too, and admitted to looking through her phone. I asked her who Adrian was, and she asked why. I told her she had called him last night, and she was like "Really?" To cut to the chase, he's apparently a tattoo artist she met at one of the bars last night. I told her that was a really shady thing to do and asked how she'd feel if I came home with someone else's number (not to mention having called/txted this person I'd just met). She admitted that she would be pissed. To resolve the issue, she deleted his number from her phone.
Am I being overly worrisome? Should I just trust her? She tells me I'm the one she loves and wants...but does that necessarily imply that she wouldn't talk to somebody else even so? I WANT to trust her so badly, but I'm afraid of having my heart broken again.
Help me, SG.
It might not be the advice you want, but i think you need to look at yourself and your reactions here. Do you trust her? If not, why? Meeting up with ex's doesn't have to be as shady as you're making out. I often meet my ex's, becuase i shared a lot of time with them, they are close friends to me. If i start dating a boy, and he's NOT friends with any of his ex's, i wonder why? Am i just going to be tossed aside too?
Hopefully, things will have sorted themselves out by now though.