ridethenuke

I'm not really sure what I'm doing here. Although that differs very little from anything else in my life. I've been told by some pretty weird people that I was borne without a star and exist outside the realm of fate. I never used to believe them but the last 3 years have almost clinched it. I currently walk the earth without friends (not to say I don't have them but they're all hundreds of miles away), much of a reserve of currency and about as much optimism as a horse at a glue factory.
All that said I'm in a much better place then I was but I've sort of come to realize that I am a fulcrum for Karma. My life can never go too well or it can't sustain itself for very long. I intentionally let the world screw me so that others may avoid such crappy things and also so more horrible things can't happen to me. The last time I was happy for a month I was morbidly depressed for 11 months. A 1:12 ratio is statistically about the best I can hope for.
I may sound like a downer but in reality I'm a very superstitious person who's been schooled by a world I was apparently never meant for. The last hopeful thing one of those weird people said to me is there is someone to balance my equation, someone in need peculiar luck and Hitler level Karma. My mom says there is a lid for every pot. Comforting words in a world of broken glass.