rickroyal

The dream was strange only in that after it was over I felt empty and sad. This has happened before. Not the same dream, but the same feelings associated with it, afterwards. The poly dream; the dream about the cheerleader; the dream where I was old and by a fire with someone in the chair next to me who was so very interesting; the dreams where I'm completely loved. Wonderful, boring dreams that have left me sad for the feeling that I felt.

The dream started at a wedding and then changed into a play at my old middle school (as I remember it, not as it's become over the past decade) with the wedding being part of the play. And there was this beautiful boy and he loved me. I was explaining to my father, who was in the audience but also part of the play, that, no, I wasn't gay, but I go through these cycles where men (boys, really) strike my fancy, and that these cycles are fleeting and I'm right back to women when they run their course. And, as can only happen in dreams, my father -- a man whose acceptance I've never fully sought or gained -- was acceptant of my explanation and the beautiful boy smiled and kissed me.

The dream ended not long after, and I lay in my bed for a while, feeling empty. There was no beautiful boy in my life. I'd be seeing the beautiful girl soon, but that was full of complications and half deceits. I lay and pondered where the love in my life was; had there ever actually been any? Certainly. And there still was. But in comparison to the love felt in the dreamtime --