"does progress really exist?"

it all seems just a series of rearrangements.






i miss wild nights. the way my hair looks in the morning in a trashy motel mirror. tapping cigarette ashes daintily into a tiny, plastic cup, one of two. the cellophane on the floor, beer cans. feeling eyes on my ass bending over admiring smudged eyeliner and the reflection of a tumultuous bed. the whole scene sweetly disheveled. knowing the coffee is foul but brewing it anyhow. because its there, included in the thirty-five dollar package.



i love a good roast but more so
the shitty diner variety
always on the verge of burnt
just weak enough so that you can
say yes
all night
grasp the warm mug and sip
over conversation
even
fall asleep to the rising of the sun



do you ever feel in the middle of the night that every time the waitress shuffles over with the pot,
"more coffee?"
(and it never matters how she says it: friendly, jaded, or indifferent)
and you say
"yes",
that it somehow freezes time. or prolongs it? or just makes you question it?





i overdosed on salt last night. but i cannot help it. it is delicious.



thanksgiving was good. i had to work but eventually got around to making the meal. we made pulled pork instead of bird. the turkey was of the wild and liquid variety.


i'm dying to shoot a new set.

i'm dying for a road trip. it doesn't have to be too far, just sexy and strange.



i do not feel that i have much to say, these days. to anyone.
and so i don't.
but it is not that i am not thinking one million thoughts.
the spoken word has never been my forte. sometimes i just let it go.


i noticed the first frost dusted atop the grass and leaves this morning on a brisk walk home.
hibernation season.
less people on the streets = more rexx on the streets.


i should be doing school work but i would much rather read the night away
and that is just what i think i'll do.

i come across so many pretty girls around here that read the greats, my greats, and write most wonderful things. where are they in the real, near world?
i'm so thankful at times that i stumbled across the s.g. universe five years ago.
if it weren't for here, i may have given up on humanity completely!
well, i'm sure that isn't so.
but we do have a nice thing here, don't we?
even if i never speak to some people just reading their lovely thoughts and actions and quirks is enough.
just knowing they do exist.

it is a dull sea out there in the tangible world sometimes,
everything looks the same as far as the eye can see.
only you know what's beneath the surface
and it sure is not anything worth bothering with.

i am very glad for the ripples.
thank you, ripples.


well, i suppose i have confused you enough by now.
happy days and sweet dreams till next time, my love biscuits.
rexxy, out.

<3