rexx

hey babies.

thanks for all the sweet comments on my new set summer sunrise !



its my most favorite, most real, set so far. so it means alot when people dig it. it was so liberating to get naked in an open field while the sun was coming up. these pictures definitely show the most natural side of me.

anyways. i sense that i'm about to write quite a long blog, just fair warning.


the anticpation of that big open road is killing me.
my car is on the market.
my insurance has been cancelled.
my phone has been activated so the power of the internet will be by my side.
my two weeks notice is down to the final week.
plans are being solidified.
i've pushed any tiny fear aside.

i have been wanting to do this for so many years. and this isn't the way i ever thought it would be. i thought i'd be in a car with friends by my side and then i realized that i just want to go it alone beat style on buses and whims and absolute minimalism. a journey of self discovery and test of self perserverance.

i'm starting out with a free week at the beach with the family in duck, north carolina.

...i wasn't going to attend partially because i hate large family gatherings, and partially because my family is extremely conservative and awkward and i have the fuck word tattooed on my leg along with a slaughtered pig...not exactly easy to cover in a bathing suit...

but then i figured a week of free food and a good tan shouldn't be passed up. also, i've been gone most of my little sisters life but she looks up to me like crazy despite or possibly because of my insane ways. and when i saw her big brace-faced smile asking if i would come, the softy side of rexx took over and i agreed to attend.

after NC i'm heading to experience the dirty jerz and visit my mexico partner in crime zepp101!
then its off to new york to the museum of sex
on to pittsburgh to get inspiring conversation over drinks/smokes in with the people who made me who i am (aka made me crazy enough to be doing this sort of thing )
after pittsburgh i'm heading to chicago to eat at kumas corner. ever since i saw it on food network i've been dying to shove a slayer burger in my face. and they have good beer? sold.
then its a two day bus trip to san francisco.
my first trip to the west coast...
i may die of happiness.
the boyfriend's band is playing in san fran on the 14th at which point i think i might just jump on stage and start ripping off all of my clothes. hopefully for legality's sake i can make it till the end of the show.
i want to spend three days or so in san francisco
then camp for a night in big sur
check out los angelos after that
then san diego
and to portland before or after cali to visit miss toxic !?

well thats all i have planned so far until august 6th which is back to pittsburgh.

on august ninth me and my pittsburgh compadre who accompanied me on an insane roadtrip to the badlands, south dakota two summers ago, are hitting the road for another week of crazy ventures to an undecided destination. i'm thinking go nuts in vegas and camping in death valley? well all of this may or may not happen depending on my level of brokeness at by this time...

after all of this i have no idea what i'll be doing.
i'll be homeless
carless.
jobless.
and most likely dead broke.

i can't wait.

as long as you have friends, you're never homeless. and when you are young, free, and poor in wallet but rich in soul with nothing else to lose, fear escapes.

i want what i know is real. to see it, feel it beneath my toes. i want to hear the pacific waves crash onto a shore i've yet to touch. i want to hear the buzz of tiny flies mix with the glorious scent of grease rolling off of a big city street vendor.

i want to taste hunger and freedom together in a foreign place.

i know there will be little spells of fear, uncertainy, confusion. no worries.

i know the feelings in my soul and over time have learned to trust them more than anything or anyone else.

birds chirping all around this yard i'll soon be leaving seem to say, 'go NOW. run!'

soft wind gently blows raising every tiny hair on my arm towards the big blue sky, and sways the trees, all pointing west in their rustic dance.

i kiss the dog in that perfect little kiss dent above its moist dog nose.

i'm smiling uncontrollably because its coming from the inside, or maybe outside, wherever my soul lies in relation to this vessel of skin and bones and hair and internal fascinations.

i come and i go.

like life, like this wind, like the days, like the dog's barking fits, like the sun behind these clouds now, like the togetherness of the shit, like money, like laughter, like the leaves.

nothing is permanant, nothing guaranteed.

so why bond one's life towards leaning on any undesirable falsehood?

"who can leap the world's ties and sit with me among white clouds?" -han shan

the world awaits, starting with this country. so in the least holy and patriotic sense of the words.....

GOD BLESS AMERICA.






thank you for sticking around.
this blog has been brought to you by a freshly awoken smudgy leftover makeup rexxy poo.



i failed at quitting smoking. but i won at doing what i want.


and now packing and reading are calling me.

ciao.